This part is called: Which cultural or everyday life differences are surprising and pleasant, and which differences take a while to get used to and understand? PART 12: I thought it might be interesting to share how we pulled off living in Italy for part of the year. I will post some steps we took. We are in Puglia until the end of September, then back again in the winter. The topic we will explore is Cultural differences. Step 1: I was already acquainted with the Italian language and culture since I lived in Italy for eight years (my university years). I was familiar with some cultural differences, but others were surprising, pleasant, or take getting used to. This experience in Italy helped shape our decision to live here rather than in other European countries. Step 2: Familiar: From my experience living in Italy, I found, and still find, that it is not challenging to develop warm and lasting friendships with locals. Whether Rome or Lecce, Latium or Puglia, I find the Italian people welcoming, interested in our backgrounds, and open to spending time together and sharing their lives. Another aspect of Italian life that is familiar is the importance of food. Breaking bread is more than grabbing a bite and always involves conversation, sharing one's life, and exchanging cooking ideas, even among men. One more beautiful aspect of Italian culture is the affection expressed between friends and an authentic sense of care for one another. This point is more difficult to explain, but there is a comfort with physical expressions of affection (kissing, hugging, walking arm in arm) that can seem unusual for an American but can enrich one's life. The other aspect, caring for one another, is expressed by a sincere interest and concern for the other person. Among our local friends, there is a great effort to accommodate our work schedules without being asked. Another example is when I buy fruit; the vendor asks me to tell him what I think and lets me know that if my watermelon or peaches aren't sweet, to come back for a replacement. Step 3: Unfamiliar: Though I lived in Italy for eight years, there were, and are, some things that I never understood. One of these is when our local friends talk and argue about Italian politics. That completely loses me. Another unfamiliar cultural difference is a "baroque" way of speaking. When I listen to a talk, speech, sermon, or presentation, I am used to a speaker who summarizes, synthesizes, and arrives at the central point quickly. Here in Italy, at least in Puglia, there is another style of public speaking, which is more "baroque" and gives a more flowery presentation while eventually arriving at the point, as I keep glancing at my watch. Step 4: Some surprising and pleasant differences: Though we had a hint of this in the past, one pleasant difference is the intensity of friendship we experience in Puglia. Friends quickly become like family, and the bonds are lasting. Another unexpected difference is how music and dance weave different generations together. Here in Puglia, one might see a grandmother dancing the "Taranta" (traditional dance) with her teenage son and having a ball. Or hearing a young person ride past on his motorcycle while singing a classic Italian song in full voice. That sense of the present tied to the past through music and dance is impressive. The great food in Italy, especially in Puglia (OK, maybe I am biased), was surprising in that it is even better than what we dreamed. There are many other pleasant differences, but that would take another blog post. Step 5: Cultural differences that take a while to get used to and understand: When I first lived in Italy (Rome), I thought a group of friends could grab a meal, catch a movie and then go out for a drink. When the meal took a few hours to play out, I complained (the ugly American). I saw the long meals from only my cultural viewpoint. The cultural difference at the heart of the long dinners, especially in the south, is that eating together is more about building a community than consuming food. When I realized this, I came to enjoy the time together at the table rather than rushing through so we could go on to the next thing. Another challenging cultural difference is that everything seems slow, even walking. In California, we tend to hurry from point A to point B, but in Italy, walking is always more of a stroll. It took some getting used to, but now we value the stroll as a time of building community, enjoying friendships, looking at architecture, and becoming part of life on the streets. Another challenging cultural difference is focusing on the group rather than the individual. Coming from California, I am used to deciding what I want to do, the goal I set, and how I want to spend my time. In Puglia, we tend to spend time with groups of local friends. In these groups, many things get decided by consensus: where to go to dinner, how to arrange the tables, when to depart for a road trip, what to buy for dinner, etc. But over time, we have realized that focusing on the group (community) rather than solely on the individual is making our lives bigger. Step 6: : Insights: Before moving to Puglia/Italy, we focussed on building and prioritizing our friendships here, which is paying off since now our friends here are like family. Experiencing differences from other viewpoints can enrich one's life and enlarge one's perspective because having my priorities challenged can help me experience life in a new way. When cultural differences arise, my initial reaction can be to assess and pass judgment. If I go down that road, I won't learn anything. I remain the same. Some of the cultural insights gained so far during our time in Italy include the centrality of relationships, the focus on the present moment, the care for one another's welfare, and the emphasis on community. Watch for my book coming around the 1st of the year: "Stories from Puglia: Two Californians in Southern Italy." More next time.

How we moved to Italy. Shopping in Italy. This part is called: Learning how to shop in Italy. PART 13: I thought it might be interesting to share how we pulled off living in Italy for part of the year. I will post some steps we took. We are in Puglia until the end of September, then back in February. The topic we will explore is: Shopping in Italy. Step 1: It doesn't take long in Italy to realize that there are differences in shopping between here and California that can be baffling initially. Examples include: when we first went to an Italian supermarket, we needed a coin to release the shopping cart. We didn't have any coins, so we stood there in the parking lot, baffled. We then went to buy some shirts and found the labeled sizes (X, XL, XXL) noticeably smaller than back in California. Another day we went to look for a small vacuum cleaner and found them for sale in a store that sells washing machines. Then the afternoon closure: I cannot count the number of times we went to a store during siesta, finding it closed. Little by little, we are getting used to a different way of shopping that starts to make sense the longer we are here. I try to remember not to judge differences but to learn to appreciate them. Step 2: Grocery shopping. Once we figured out that we could use a basket if we didn't have coins, we entered our local supermarket. The first thing that caught our eye was a prepared food section that looked like a high-end cafeteria/bakery/restaurant. We marveled at the lasagna, salads, freshly baked loaves of bread, pastries, sandwiches, and hot main dishes. The prices were reasonable, so we grabbed lunch before shopping. It was a Sunday; we walked over to the tables, ate our lunches at a leisurely pace, and then made our way to the grocery section. The lights were off. "Why are the lights off?" we asked in our American-accented Italian. "We close at 1:30 on Sundays". Such was our introduction to grocery shopping in Puglia. We returned the next day, coins in hand, to resume our grocery adventure. We got our prepared food to take home this time and proceeded to make our way through the aisles. We immediately noticed the superior quality of produce. We brought home the most flavorful tomatoes, the sweetest peaches, and the most delicious small pears we have ever had. I like to drink a lot of milk, but most Italians are not milk drinkers, as exemplified by the smaller milk containers. I put 7-8 bottles in my cart, which would last a few days. We then checked out their yogurt, which is more watery than ours but tastes more natural and less sweet. The cheese section rivaled any expensive supermarket in California for less than half the price. Coffee, tea, juices, it was all there. "Where's the Coffee Mate?" I muttered to myself, forgetting that I was in another country. No Coffee Mate. Making our way through the supermarket, we realized that, in general, the quality of fresh foods is much better than in California, but the prices tend to be lower. We were smiling when we left; we could buy some great food at reasonable prices, and we understood the logic of the coin in the shopping cart. Step 3: Supermarket vs. smaller stores and farmers' markets. "You did what???? Did you buy your fruit at the supermarket? And meat there too? Don't tell me you bought your cheese there????" Our local Italian friends were shocked; we felt that we had committed a crime for which we needed to beg forgiveness. OK, we assured our local friends. We will try to shop in the local stores rather than get everything at the supermarket. Our friends had a point: We have discovered that often smaller neighborhood stores have high-quality local produce, butchers have relationships with customers and offer to roast chicken and other meats if ordered the day before, electric stores stock many items at competitive prices, and the proprietors know their products inside and out. Smaller food markets offer services that include preparing cheese trays, cooked lasagna, and risotto if ordered the day before. Relationships are what matter, and shopping at smaller stores has allowed us to get to know local people in our community, discover high-quality products and avail ourselves of their expertise. Step 4: Clothing. Since I have trained at the gym for years, I tend to wear XXL shirts. When we went shopping for clothing in Italy, I found that the XXL was equivalent to our L or XL; not all stores carry XXXL shirts, so I found shirt shopping challenging. My shoe size is 14. Enough said about that. For pants, I am pretty standard in the waist but bigger in the legs, which is another challenge here. I have no experience in women's clothing, so I do not know the challenges in that sphere. Navigating clothes shopping has been fun, but we are still learning to find what we want in the sizes we need or to bring them from California. Step 5: Shopping for other items. In Italy, we find that things are grouped differently than in California. We were looking for a digital alarm clock, for example, in a department store, and spent several minutes looking at every shelf in the electronics department. Not finding it there, we fanned out, eventually finding them in the home decor section next to the candles. We were also looking at vacuum cleaners and found them for sale in our neighborhood store that carries washing machines. Sometimes I see the logic. For example, when cameras are sold in stores selling eyeglasses, they have the idea of a lens in common. But I have to admit that other times I don't. But it is not for me to judge but to appreciate the differences. Step 6: The siesta. The afternoon break: a wonderful southern Italian tradition that enhances the quality of life in Italy and drives visitors crazy! Though I should know better by now, I went to the pharmacy at 12:30 and found it closed today. I returned at 4:30, finding it still closed. Becoming part of the ebb and flow of life means letting go of expectations that businesses be open throughout the workday and becoming more aware of opening and closing hours. I had an acquaintance in Los Angeles who visited and traveled around Italy for a few weeks. When he returned, we asked him if he had learned any Italian. "Yes," he said. "What did you learn?" we asked. "I learned one word," he said. We were intrigued and asked what word he took back with him. "Chiuso," he replied. That means "closed." Step 7: Insights: Learning about locals' ways has been enriching and different. Freshness and quality are more important than efficiency, so locals are more willing to use their time going to multiple stores to get what they need to have fresh quality food daily. We are used to going to Costco or the supermarket once a week, stocking up on items that will last, and avoiding the store in between. We are learning some excellent lessons about shopping here in Italy. Watch for my book coming around the 1st of the year: "Stories from Puglia: Two Californians in Southern Italy." More next time.

How we moved to Italy. Guest Post on Shopping in Europe vs the US This part is called: Shopping in Europe vs the US PART 14: I thought it might be interesting to share how we pulled off living in Italy for part of the year. I will post some steps we took. We are in Puglia until the end of September, then back again in the winter. Our theme is: Guest Post on Shopping in Europe vs the US. One of the interesting things about living in Italy is the people from interesting and different backgrounds that we get to meet and be in contact with. When we share our experiences and our insights, our lives can grow richer and we can see things from different perspectives. I thought it would be interesting to share this guest post about shopping in Germany as compared with the US (and with shopping in Italy in last week's blog post). "A few thoughts about shopping in Europe. "Yes, we prefer buying our bread at the local bakery, our meats at the local butcher, and veggies and flowers at small local stores or farmers' markets. "Almost all villages have farmer's markets at the main square once or twice a week. And within a 5-10 mile radius, you will find an open farmers market every weekday as the communities in the same area hold their markets on different days. Germans, for example, like to know where their food comes from. If we have the choice, we prefer veggies from a local farmer instead of buying tomatoes grown in a greenhouse in Spain, picked while barely ripe, refrigerated, and shipped a thousand miles to the bigger grocery chains. Of course, local farmers can not compete with the discount prices of bigger supermarkets. So those big stores also have enough customers. "Buying locally can be expensive, but in my opinion strolling through a farmers market is a nicer shopping experience than just grabbing stuff from shelves in a mega-store. But I also buy some of my groceries at the big stores. "To us, it's also important that the employee at the smaller store knows us and our preferences. That also includes the time for personal small talk about the family or what we are planning to cook. "Small talk in small European stores differs from small talk in big American stores. More about that later. Not sure if Italy has the same shopping cart system as Germany. But over here, you need a one Euro coin to release the cart from the designated holding area. Alternatively, you can use a plastic chip that attaches to a keychain on your bundle of other keys. I've never seen this system in the US, and most Americans find it awkward when they experience it in Europe. But it keeps customers from leaving empty shopping carts right next to their car after stashing their goods in the trunk. Everyone wants their Euro (or the chip) back and rolls the empty cart back to the designated holding area. It also keeps people from walking off the property with the cart. You get the coin back by inserting the metal stick on the last cart in the row into the receptacle of your cart. But you probably experienced this system already somewhere in Europe. "Shopping carts in Europe are also not even half the size of American shopping carts, probably because we go shopping for groceries multiple times a week. "Fridges in German kitchens used to be tiny compared to American fridges. But that is slowly changing. Our fridge is almost American size. My mom's fridge is still just one-third of the size of our fridge. I still wonder how she managed to feed a family of four with such a tiny fridge. "Shopping for clothing in big department stores is also slightly different in Germany compared to the US. Many German tourists to the US get freaked out when they enter a department store; an employee runs up to them asking: "Welcome to Such-and-such! How are you doing? Can I help you find anything today?" Germans tend to want to be left alone to browse the shelves in big stores and only look for an attendant if they can't find what they are looking for. They find friendly American small talk from an attendant annoying. And when they get to the cashier and get the common: "Did you find everything okay today?"... many of us start a long speech about what they didn't find and what they were looking for but didn't find and that what they found was more expensive than at another store. The quality could be better for that price and yadda yadda yadda. All of this usually leaves the employee at the cash register speechless. "We don't understand that it's just a friendly small talk phrase, not a real question or invitation to a long monologue. LOL However, even in Germany, things are changing. Some stores, like the big Douglas Perfume chain, now pay a commission to each employee. So, once you enter those stores, it takes less than 3 Seconds before an employee greets you with "Hello. Can I help you find anything today?" "Buying food (or other items) for Sundays needs preparation in Germany as almost all stores are closed on Sundays. Maybe that's the same in Italy? Over here, you can still buy the basics at small Kiosks, gas stations, or train stations. But you could not do your regular shopping on a Sunday." Watch for my book coming around the 1st of the year: "Stories from Puglia: Two Californians in Southern Italy". More next time.

How we moved to Italy: How has our diet changed since moving to Italy? This part is called: Eating in Italy. PART 16: I thought it might be interesting to share how we pulled off living in Italy for part of the year. I will post some steps we took. We are in Puglia until the end of September, then back again in the winter. Our theme is: Eating in Italy. Step 1: We all have different eating, exercise, and lifestyle backgrounds. I've trained at the gym for decades and try to eat a healthy high protein/low carb and fats diet. My proteins of choice include chicken, fish, peanut butter, and milk. I also try to eat at least two types of fruit per day and salads and other vegetables. Step 2: The Mediterranean diet. We have all heard it: the Mediterranean diet is one of the most healthy for health and longevity. But many of us (including myself) think of the Mediterranean diet as anything we eat while we are in the Mediterranean area. So when we moved to Puglia, we found ourselves often following this eating regimen: Breakfast: coffee and cornetto (croissant) Lunch: A sandwich (panino) made at home or on the run, or some pasta. Dinner: pasta or pizza. That's all Mediterranean. Right? Step 3: Eating and nutrition. We are learning that one has the OPPORTUNITY to eat healthy while in Italy, but it doesn't come automatically, especially when constantly grabbing meals while out and about. Step 4: Advantages: Some of the advantages of eating healthy in Italy include: the produce is fantastic and fresh, especially from fruit stands and farmers' markets. (I can't believe how the tomatoes here taste like tomatoes without that slimy gel that comes out of our tomatoes in California when I slice them!) Another advantage in Italy is all the neighborhood shops, whether it be butchers or other stores that sell specific parts of the meal. Another advantage is that many butchers here in Puglia, and some of the smaller supermarkets, offer to prepare the food for you. If we want a roasted chicken or roast beef to order, we just let our local butcher know the day before. If we want a cheese and meat plate for friends coming over, we walk down to the small supermarket around the corner, and they prepare it for us for much less than in California. Local stores allow one to develop relationships with the community, discover the best time to buy certain fruits and vegetables in season, and learn about new eating opportunities, such as the Sagra or village festivals. Step 5: The Challenge. For us, the challenge is to take all the opportunities for healthy eating here in Italy and channel them into eating better. Grabbing pizzas and pasta every day, eventually, doesn't work since it is a lot of carbs and little protein. We find that some planning, organization, and thought are necessary to reign in the carbs and integrate more protein and vegetables. Step 6: Home cooking and going out to eat in Italy. I can't say we have mastered healthier eating yet, but we are making progress. We found a place in Lecce that makes excellent chicken on skewers with a greek salad for 10 euros, so that is our go-to now for dinner on the town. We found another place in Santa Caterina that makes incredible fresh sandwiches with tuna (no mayo) or vegetarian, filling enough for lunch and dinner. So we have a few go-to places where we know we can eat healthily and keep within budget. We have also learned to buy food more often than in California; we usually purchase fresh fruit and salad ingredients every other day or every day. Filling the fridge with delicious produce makes eating healthier easy and pressures us to consume it every day since, with no additives, the fruits and vegetables don't last. Since I'm not much of a baker, we decided to buy an outdoor gas grill for the increased protein intake that I crave. Since we are renting, we have to work out the details, but barbecuing chicken or fish in the evening is something that I am comfortable doing in California, and I can duplicate that here. Buying a grill is the next step. Step 7: Reflections on eating habits. Many of us who visit or move to Italy initially gorge ourselves on all the delicious foods. There is nothing wrong with that, for a time. But in the long term, healthy eating is essential for quality of life, so we don't want to ignore it. The pizza here is delicious, and the pasta is otherworldly, but my body needs more than that to grow and be healthy. Reflecting on our eating patterns after being in Italy for two months is helping us make adjustments and making the possibility of the Mediterranean diet become a reality for us. Watch for my book coming around the 1st of the year: "Stories from Puglia: Two Californians in Southern Italy." More next time.

How we moved to Italy. Is living in Italy cheaper than living in the US? PART 17: I thought it might be interesting to share how we pulled off living in Italy for part of the year. I will post some steps we took. We are in Puglia until the end of September, then back again in the winter. Our theme is: Cost of Living in Italy. Step 1: If you read ex-pat blogs, you have undoubtedly read over and over again that the cost of living in Italy is much lower than in the US. But is this true? Based on my experience, yes and no. Step 2: Yes, sometimes: It depends on where one lives in Italy. For example, the cost of living in Puglia is much lower than in Rome, Florence, or Milan. So let's not even consider these and other major Italian cities. Since we live in Galatone, a non-tourist town outside of Lecce, I can base my reflections on our experience here. Step 3: Major expenses: what costs less. Housing is one of the significant expenses that is cheaper than in the US. In our town, a decent renovated house can be purchased for 80-90k, give or take. A place needing major renovation can be bought for 30-35k, needing another 40k to make it livable. These are ballpark figures, and they would be different if the town is on the coast or is a larger city like Lecce, but it gives an idea. In California, housing costs…I'm going to leave that one alone. Renting for a few months vs. 12-month lease: We found that a place in Puglia might rent for 500-600 euros or more per week during high season (August), but if one leases it for 12 months, the monthly cost could go down to 400-500 euros. Step 4: Minor expenses: what costs less. Our food shopping bill is much lower than it is back in Cali. Here in Puglia, our fruit and vegetables at our local vendors are of higher quality and cost significantly less than in California. We found that if we eat at home more than we go out during the week, our weekly food bill is lower than in California. Another minor expense that costs less are coffee drinks and pastries at our local cafes. When we went to get breakfast at a bar/cafe in front of the sea with some Italian friends, they remarked how expensive it was. But we looked at our bill: 2 cappuccinos, 2 croissants, and 2 glasses of water for about $7; plus, we had the Ionian sea in front of us. At Starbucks, without the sea view, the cost would be more than double. Wine and other alcoholic beverages cost less in Italy. For example, Lecce has an outdoor bar/cafe in a beautiful area next to the historical center. We sometimes go there for an aperitive, like an Aperol Spritz. The waiter always brings the drinks with complimentary snacks (chips, olives, crackers). The drinks cost 5 euros each. Step 5: What costs about the same: Becoming longer-term residents in Italy requires a car (unless one lives in a big city where one doesn't need one). Buying or renting a car is about the same as in the US. But then we looked into leasing a car for three months, which is what we ended up doing, using the Renault leasing program (https://www.renault-eurodrive.com/en). A new vehicle, including insurance, and manual transmission, averaged out at $21 a day over 3 months. A car can be a significant expense to figure into one's budget. Eating out at restaurants can add up to about what one pays in the US. Yes, the quality is much better, the food much fresher, and the taste much better. But how much one pays for a dinner here and back in California can be about the same, especially if one orders a first dish, entree, side dish, etc. Step 6: What costs more in Italy: Gasoline is more expensive in Italy than in the US since Italy has to import all of its gas. Toll roads are also more costly; when we drove from Bologna down to Puglia, we paid about $50 for the toll road. Public transportation, however, is cheaper than in the US. Pharmacies tend to charge much more for some over-the-counter items that one can find at a supermarket. Example: we looked for a bottle of peroxide and some mosquito repellant at our local pharmacy, then went to the supermarket the next day. We discovered that the items cost much less at the supermarket than at the pharmacy. Insights: Depending on where and how one lives in Italy, the cost of living can be considerably lower than in the US. Purchasing produce and other foods from our local vendors, cooking at home during the week, leasing a car rather than renting, and making a 12-month commitment for our housing are some ways that our cost of living is lower than in California. Yet, our quality of life is higher. Watch for my book coming around the 1st of the year: "Stories from Puglia: Two Californians in Southern Italy." More next time.

How we pulled it off to move to Italy. Transportation. This part is called: Transportation in Italy. PART 18: I thought it might be interesting to share how we pulled off living in Italy for part of the year. I will post some steps we took. We are in Puglia until the end of September, then back again in the winter. Our theme is: What we are discovering about transportation in Italy. Step 1: Before moving to Puglia, we had a rude awakening. We visited in January and rented a car for several weeks. We wanted to get a feel for the area and see some sights in northern Italy. Our moving date to Puglia was July 1. On June 29, a curious registered letter arrived from Italy. It contained two moving violations (speeding) recorded during our January visit. The strange thing is that we broke the traffic laws twice on the same day. We had no idea we were speeding since our rule of thumb was to go with the traffic flow. Step 2: Speeding in Italy. After paying over 250 euros for two speeding tickets, we vowed not to make the same mistake again. So when we leased our car in June of this year, we made sure it had a good GPS, alerting us of the speeding limits on each route. So we got in our car on July 2, left the Rome airport, and got on the highway to Puglia. We were attentive to all the signs and limits. Step 3: Strange changes in limits. We soon discovered two things: the speed limits often change on the same road, in the same direction. At one moment, it is 80; then it becomes 100, then 50, then up to 90. We kept to these various limits as cars dashed by us on our left. The second thing we learned is that Italian speed cameras are clearly marked, according to law. One will not get pulled over for speeding here; a ticket arrives in the mail without human contact. So we watched for the signs indicating camera zones. Our local friends explained that some camera zones are permanent while others are temporary. Before entering each clocking zone, there is always a warning sign; one may pass many "temporary" camera zones, indicated by signs, where there are no cameras on that day. Step 4: Learning curve. Italy also has a point system in which one's car insurance is affected by infractions. In our case, however, we were concerned about getting fines (besides the safety factor). So we erred on the side of caution until we got a sense from our local friends about how to navigate roads. Always consulate locals. Our local friends confirmed that road speed limits change, so be aware of that. They also said that drivers are usually permitted to go about 10 kilometers above the limit, but, even using this as a rule of thumb, to slow down on entering clocking zones. Regarding the temporary zones, one never knows when one is being clocked or not. In summary, they said to be wary but not paranoid. Step 5: Driving styles. I don't know what the driving styles are in northern Italy, but in our region in Puglia, drivers are a little more aggressive than in California. If I am driving down the main street and another car wants to make a turn onto my road, rather than waiting, they will usually nudge out to see if they can get me to slow down so they can get in front. I've found myself driving more aggressively, letting them know who has the right of way. Pedestrians also do not have the right of way in the same way we are used to. If I step onto a crosswalk, some cars stop, and some zoom through. So always be aware. Step 6: Gas. When I hear my compatriots complain about gas back in California, I want to tell them to look at prices in Italy. Having no oil sources, Italy has to import all of its gasoline supplies, which is expensive. As of September 2022, a gallon of gas in Italy costs about $7.00. Step 7: Public transportation. Coming from California, it is easy to import into Italy the idea that public transportation is a huge hassle. That's because, back in CA, it is. But once one has tried using the trains in Italy, it isn't easy to return to total car reliance. I use an app from Trenitalia ( https://www.trenitalia.com/en.html ), in which I can find, book, and pay for all of my train needs. Not having a car to park is a huge asset, and not having to navigate a European road system lifts a level of stress. We have also taken the cheap flight route, such as RyanAir. But, I've found that if I calculate the time to get to and from the airport, check-in, security, drop off, etc., I am usually better off if I hop on a train if I am traveling within Italy. Insights: Relaxing into the way of life here in Puglia means understanding how to navigate the various transportation options, which are all means to the same end: to make the most out of living in this incredible place. Watch for my book coming around the 1st of the year: "Stories from Puglia: Two Californians in Southern Italy." More next time.

How we moved to Italy. Dealing with…Homesickness? This part is called: Am I starting to long for the US? PART 19: I thought it might be interesting to share how we pulled off living in Italy for part of the year. I will post some steps we took. We are in Puglia until the end of September, then back again in January. Our theme is: How do I deal with missing life back in the states? Step 1: Since our choice is to live in two places, in California and Puglia, Italy, we follow the basic 90 days in and 90 out rule (see previous blog post on how that works). The time back in California gives us time to pause in order to reflect on and refine our experience of living abroad. Step 2: I am now living my last day of 90, before flying back to California until our next time here, in January. When friends ask me how I feel about returning to the States, I find myself saying ‘I am ready”. Not that there's anything wrong with that, but hearing myself say these words repeatedly gave me pause. Why am I “ready” to go back? Step 3: Missing and feeling the lack of. Without being aware of it, I am starting to realize that there are some concrete things that I do not have in place yet in our life in Italy, and the lack of these things is feeding into my feeling of being ready to leave. I started to make a mental list of things I want to take care of back in the US: I want to see my dermatologist, my eye doctor and make a dental appointment. I want to find more weather-appropriate clothing for Italy, since I have trouble finding clothes that fit here (previous blog post on shopping). There are a few products that I use that I can’t find over here. I want to get back to my regular gym routine, and get my diet under control. Step 4: Getting things in place so we can enjoy our time. Listing some of the things that I am looking forward to either doing, needing to take care of or getting in place is helpful for me as we look ahead to our sojourn in Italy. Becoming aware of what is making me feel ready to return to the US enables me to get some of these things in place over in Italy; this can help prevent our magical time here from being overwhelmed by homesickness. Step 5: Causes. First, I ask myself if there are any causes that increase the feeling of being “ready” to go home? Yes. For me, living out of my suitcase for extended periods soon makes me feel ready to return to the US. I realized this when I decided to travel around Italy for the month of September before returning to California for 90 days. Though I loved the opportunities to see and do new things and meet friends, after some weeks of sleeping in different beds, trying to chase down healthy food, trying to find a gym, trying to be spontaneous and responsible…I had enough. Everyone is different, but what I discovered was that a month on the road was too long for me, and in the future I will modify that. Step 6: Leave in California. A good question to ask myself is: what are those things that I want to leave in place in California, and not import to Italy right now? For me, these include: my primary doctor, my dentist, and my regular checkups, since I am a cancer survivor (yay!). Step 7: Put into place in Italy. Another good question to ask myself is: what are those things that I can put into place while living in Italy? Again, the answer to this differs for each one of us. For me, these include: finding a doctor I trust in Puglia should any medical needs arise while there. Organizing my diet and increasing my protein intake by purchasing and using a grill. Becoming more acclimated to the rhythm of life. Planning and balancing travel experiences with staying in and savoring the area in Puglia where we live. Step 8: Thought and planning. Solutions to issues that make me long for the US will take a bit of thought and planning, and our 90 days out is the opportunity to do so. But if I neglect dealing with those things and issues that are causing me to miss being back in the US, my experience in Italy will diminish. I’ve come too far to let that happen. Insights. There is nothing wrong with feeling that one is ready to return to familiar surroundings after being abroad. But if I find myself wanting to return back to my home country because I feel that I can only obtain the relationships, products or services that I need, perhaps I haven’t dug deep enough in Italy to connect and make a life that works for me. This comes with time, reflection, experience, and connecting to my local community. Watch for my book coming around the 1st of the year: "Stories from Puglia: Two Californians in Southern Italy" ( https://www.bookdepository.com/Stories-from-Puglia-Mark-Tedesco/9781913680640?ref=grid-view&qid=1667499931286&sr=1-1 ). More next time.

PART 20: It might be interesting to share how we pulled off living in Italy for part of the year. I will post some steps we took. We are in Puglia until the end of September, then back again in the winter. Step 1: We are experiencing a deeper appreciation of the cultures in various regions of Italy as we celebrate holidays in Italy and compare our experiences to those in California. Step 2: Thanksgiving. Though it is evident that Thanksgiving is an American holiday, some of us have traveled to Italy and expected it to be acknowledged. This expectation is due to a need for greater knowledge of other cultures. But to celebrate Thanksgiving while living in Italy, I must make it happen and plan for it. When I was a student in Rome, about half of us in the dorm were Americans; we resolved that Thanksgiving would not pass us by without a celebration. But we were in the 1980s; we couldn't find a pumpkin anywhere. So we chatted with a fruit vendor in the city who ordered and provided us with a four-foot-long gourd that was orange inside. It took two of us to carry it back to the house, and from that vegetable, we could make something that resembled pumpkin pie. It was a fun experience. Fast forward to the North American College in Rome, where Thanksgiving day was/is celebrated with a student football game in the morning, a roasted turkey feast for lunch, and, in the evening, the movie "Ben Hur." The film is shown in the main theater, and students and guests/expats are welcome. During "Ben Hur," every time the word "Rome" is used, the audience cheers. It is a fun event. Living on our own in Puglia, celebrating Thanksgiving at home is completely doable. It just takes some planning and consultation with the local butcher and fruit/vegetable vendor, and many products are now available in Italy that we didn't have access to back in the 1980s. During the years when we are in Italy during Thanksgiving, we decided to keep celebrating it with friends. Step 3: Christmas. We wanted to have a special Christmas in Italy last year, but we also wanted to respect the familial celebrations of our local friends. So we decided to spend Christmas in Assisi and New Year's Eve in Puglia. We chose Assisi for Christmas eve and day because the town is beautiful and because there is "something" in the atmosphere that anyone, regardless of background, can feel and experience. I call it the influence or spirit of St. Francis that permeates Assisi. We also chose to be in this place for Christmas eve because of its connection with the nativity scene or presepio used to symbolize the meaning of the holiday. Francis lived in the 1200s when the church culture focussed on God as "Other," transcendent. Often the art of this period depicted Christ or saints in front of a gold background, in another divine world, far removed from human affairs. Humanity was de-emphasized or forgotten entirely. Then came St. Francis, whose experience of the divine entered into his experience in such a concrete way that he left everything to follow it. Somewhere along his life journey, Francis realized that the birth of Christ had become a mere symbol rather than a reality for many, so he took the unprecedented and, at the time, controversial step, of creating a living nativity scene in Greccio. We were in Assisi to experience the connection between the human and the divine and were not disappointed. As we walked down to the basilica on Christmas eve and watched the light projection on the facade telling the story of Christmas, using Giotto's paintings accompanied by music, we realized we were in the right place. Later that night, I arrived a bit early for the midnight mass, so I descended into the tomb of St. Francis; the chapel was empty. It was a magical moment as I saw the burial place of that man, surrounded by his closest friends, whose life had changed the course of history. I felt grateful. The next morning, Christmas day, I heard about an English service in the monastery, so I made my way there and enjoyed hearing the readings in my mother tongue. After the service, many expats greeted me; they shared their choices, stories, and adventures. They were all stories of happiness. It was a Christmas I would not forget. Step 4: New Year. It was New Year's Eve 2018, that we found ourselves in Naples to welcome the year with our Italian friends. Our closest friends were from Puglia, but others flocked to the city from Milian and other northern towns. To make a long story short, we participated in an incredible multi-dish dinner with about thirty other people. When midnight came, everyone hugged, kissed, and danced. The two of us then made our way towards our room (it was a pensione), but one of our Puglian friends stopped us. "Where are you going?" We looked at him with blank stares. "The meal is not over," he said. "We will go on feasting, then at four we will go out to the city to watch the fireworks." My partner quickly excused himself and crawled into bed. I returned to the table, but only lasted about another 30 minutes; then I was in bed. It was a grand celebration but too late for us. The strange thing was that after we returned to the US around January 10, we both came down with a bug that floored us for a few days. Months later, when the news of Covid was everywhere, we tested positive for antibodies. We had had Covid! The pandemic kept us in California until last year when we could return to Italy for the holidays. The same friends invited us to spend the new year in Puglia, Lecce, which sounded perfect. Our local friends had arranged a dinner for about twelve of us at a restaurant with great food and a calm atmosphere. There we enjoyed bonding over the meal and meeting some new friends. Afterward, we strolled to the central piazza to welcome the new year, surrounded by giant illuminated Christmas decorations. We greeted the new year at midnight, kissed one another, and headed home. It was perfect since welcoming the new year was not about going to a big party where nobody knew each other; instead, it was about friendship. Step 5: Regional festivals: La Tarantella or Pizzica. In the book about Puglia that I wrote, there is a chapter on the Tarantella, a distinct type of music and dancing in Puglia. During the summer, a festival in a different town or village celebrates this music every night. We attended several of these over the years and the most impressive thing to us, from California, is the intergenerational appeal of the music and dancing. The faces of grandmothers dancing with smiling teenagers remain impressed in my imagination. Yes, teenagers smile when they are with their parents at a Pizzica festival in Puglia. Step 6: Religious festivals: What I love about the religious festivals in Italy, and Puglia in particular, is that they embrace everyone, no matter what faith or none. They are a cultural expression of a history that is fascinating. The costumes, music, processions, and even skits during Holy Week and patron saint days are accessible to everyone. Nobody is excluded. These festivals are very cool to be part of, in my experience. And lend themselves to excellent people-watching. Insights: It is challenging to compare how we celebrate holidays in California to Italy because they are so different. Perhaps a common theme is that, in Italy, our friendships feel more intense, and so holidays become a celebration of our bonds with one another. For me, the spiritual aspect of the holidays is also more pronounced in Italy, especially around Christmas and Easter. The last point is that holidays in Italy seem more meaningful; perhaps this is because they bring together history, culture, spirituality, and friends. Watch for my book coming around the 1st of the year: "Stories from Puglia: Two Californians in Southern Italy." More next time.

How we moved to Italy: Why Living in Italy Part Time Works For Us…for now. PART 21: It might be interesting to share how we pulled off living in Italy for part of the year. I will post some steps we took. We are in Puglia until the end of September, then back again in the winter. Step 1: We have had endless discussions about how long to live in Italy. Full-time, as residents? Six months at a time, as residents? Three months at a time, as non-residents? Step 2: Since we are still beginning our adventure of living in Italy, we are learning about what works best for us. Because of jobs and obligations in California, we realized that moving to Italy as full-time residents was not the right step at this time. So our discerning process began: should we seek residency, so we can remain in Italy for six months and then return to California for six months, or should we come to Italy twice a year as a non-resident, keeping in mind the 90/90 rule (https://www.visa-calculator.com). Step 3: Residency implications. In a previous blog, I noted that the impact of becoming a resident of Italy includes being able to purchase a car, become covered by the state health network, and become part of the Italian income tax system. All this and more should be considered and researched before taking that step. Step 4: One step at a time. As we move forward, we are learning to let go of the need to know how our living in Italy will eventually play out. One step at a time is working for us, and it has become clear that the right solution for us, at this point, is to live in Italy twice per year, 90 days each time. Step 5: Why 90/90 works for us. I experience an intensity of life in Italy; friendships feel more intense, the history seems more real, and the culture more palpable. Other European countries are at our doorstep, and the possibilities to explore Europe from our place in Puglia seem endless. When I think of Puglia, I think of the faces of our local friends, who are like family and are always ready to spend time together. I think of the frescoes at the church of S. Caterina in Galatina, with the stories of creation and redemption. I think of the beaches from where we watch the sunsets as we picnic with friends. I think of our breakfasts in front of the Ionian sea in Santa Caterina. I picture our hikes up to the 16th-century tower after our meal. I think of the tree of life on the floor of the Cathedral of Otranto. The church and the sea at Trani, and the trulli in Alberobello. I think of these and many other places. Each of these places is filled with stories, memories of visits, history, and experiences. It is so much to reflect on, be grateful for and allow to become part of our lives. Because of this, 90/90 works for us. Step 6: Back in California. We recently returned to California for our 90 days out of the EU. Life here in Palm Springs is calmer, less intense, and less full of new experiences every day. Reflection feels easier here. Ninety in the EU and 90 back in California works for me because the California time gives me pause to remember, reflect and derive meaning from all that we experience while living in Italy. By profession, I am an educator (high school history, just retired), but I am also an author by passion. A piece of nonfiction, an article of travel literature, or a historical fiction book often grows out of our experiences in Italy. Insights: Going through experiences versus gaining wisdom and insights can be different processes. For now, living in Italy and California helps us reflect on our incredible experiences in that beautiful land and discover what they mean for our lives. Watch for my book coming around the 1st of the year: "Stories from Puglia: Two Californians in Southern Italy" ( https://www.bookdepository.com/Stories-from-Puglia-Mark-Tedesco/9781913680640?ref=grid-view&qid=1667499931286&sr=1-1 ).

How we moved to Italy. Why do it? PART 22: It might be interesting to share how we pulled off living in Italy for part of the year. I will post some steps we took. We are in Puglia until the end of September, then back again in the winter. Step 1: It is an essential question and is worth exploring. Why move to Italy? Here in California, life is good, life is fine. So why take that leap? This is a more personal blog post. Step 2: Background. Decades ago, I was in a relationship with someone who suffered from an addiction. I did everything I could to try to manage the situation; if only I could come up with the right strategy to make them stop, I thought to myself. But I never did, and it was me that was driving me crazy. Step 3: Focus. Around this time, someone suggested that I go to Alanon, and, for the first time, I heard the distinction between what I can control (my actions, my attitudes) and what I cannot control (someone else's actions and attitudes). This realization was the first step. Step 4: A big life. I continued to attend meetings and kept hearing the phrase "a big life." People were saying that their life was getting bigger as they turned the focus on themselves instead of trying to control others. They planted a seed that would eventually lead us here to Italy. Step 5: What I want. At a certain point, I had to ask: what type of life do I want for myself? I eventually left that addictive relationship. But as I settled into a life of work, family, and friendships, I started to ask myself: Is this enough? Without realizing it, even without the addict, my life had become small. Step 6: The Why. Moving to Italy was not a spontaneous idea but was the fruit of a process of discernment, by myself and my partner, for about six years now. It all boiled down to the question: what type of life do I/we want? Was the 9-5 job, taking care of the house, going to the gym, and taking little vacations enough? All these are excellent things, but did we want our life to be locked into this routine for decades? Step 7: Small life and big life. Some are satisfied with a life that appears small. When I visited the neighborhood where I grew up in Sacramento some years ago, I found that a number of my childhood friends lived in the same houses where they grew up. This decision is neither good nor bad; who am I to judge? But I wanted more. Now we live in southern California (Palm Springs) for half the year and in Puglia for the other half. Somehow, this "fits." Being in Puglia for half the year allows us to experience life as an adventure, develop deep friendships with locals and expats, and expand our understanding of the world. Returning to California during the year gives us pause to reflect on the lessons learned and what we want to experience on our return. Our life feels "big." Insights: "What type of a life do I want for myself" is a question that returns to me when I need to make decisions. Which path is more fulfilling, and meaningful, gives more serenity, and leads me closer to where I want to be? Which choice will lead me to a bigger life? Our time living in Italy is finally revealing the answers. Watch for my book coming around the 1st of the year: "Stories from Puglia: Two Californians in Southern Italy." https://www.bookdepository.com/Stories-from-Puglia-Mark-Tedesco/9781913680640?ref=grid-view&qid=1670181419200&sr=1-2. More next time.

How we moved to Italy. Navigating the Internet PART 23: It might be interesting to share how we pulled off living in Italy for part of the year. I will post some steps we took. We are in Puglia until the end of September, then back again in the winter. Step 1: Our goal is to take care of emails, research and accomplish various tasks for some hours each day while in Puglia. Step 2: Fears. As our decision to move to Italy evolved, we wanted to ensure that we could keep connected with friends (relationships) and libraries (research) and be able to log into office emails. We read about some internet challenges in some expat forums. Step 3: How. We made a list of what we would need to remain connected. Our list included: stable internet, the ability to read office emails, and a quiet space. Step 4: Seamless. We wanted the internet experience to be seamless. Step 5: What we tried. Since we are renting we wanted a portable internet service. To establish our internet connection, we tried several methods. The first was a portable internet device available in Italy. These devices can be carried anywhere in the country and are convenient but slower than the services installed in the house. We tried this solution, but I couldn't get to my office emails. Step 6: What worked? Sometimes the easiest solution is the best. Since we have ATT, we tried to use the iPhone as a hotspot. The cost of the International ATT pass is $10 a day or a maximum of $100 a month. This solution worked like a dream. Step 7: Local calls, hotspots, and texts. Since most cell phones now offer the possibility to have a virtual SIM card, it is possible to have an Italian number and an American number on the same phone. So we equipped one of our phones with an Italian number for our needs within Italy (local texting and calling within Italy, etc. I use Iliad for this), and we use the American number as the hotspot. Step 8: Workspace. When I work on my computer in California, I often visit a library or coffee shop. In Puglia, I've only seen someone working in a coffee bar once; our Italian friends tell us that bringing a laptop to a library is unheard of. Before setting up one's computer in a coffee bar, they added, one better ask the proprietor since they probably will only want the table used for a short time. Some have responded to this post that working in a library or coffee bar in Italy is not uncommon; I’d love to hear more. Workspace needs: During the week, my partner and I do research, take care of emails, and accomplish various tasks online. When I am doing research online, I need quiet. I mean, quiet. But there are two of us in a lovely one-bedroom apartment. We eventually each found our comfort spot; his in the kitchen and mine on the terrace. Every afternoon we have a dedicated space and time to accomplish tasks online. It all works like a dream. Insights: As we move forward in our adventure of living part time in Puglia, we are finding solutions for each issue. All in all, it is pretty seamless. Watch for my book coming in January: "Stories from Puglia: Two Californians in Southern Italy." https://www.bookdepository.com/Stories-from-Puglia-Mark-Tedesco/9781913680640?ref=grid-view&qid=1670868563125&sr=1-1 More next time.

How we moved to Italy. Christmas season in Italy vs. California PART 24: I thought it might be interesting to share how we pulled off living in Italy for part of the year. I will post some steps we took. We are in Puglia until the end of September, then back again in the winter. Step 1: I've lived in Italy twice. First throughout the 1980s in Rome and then in Puglia today. We are following the 90/90 model (90 days in 180 days). An advantage of following this model is that we get to step back and reflect on our Italian life while in California. So what about celebrating Christmas? How is it the same? How is it different? Note that I am simply relating my personal experiences here. I would be happy to hear yours also (in the comments)! Step 2: The first difference I noticed when I moved to Italy (both times) is that there is a distinction between the preparation for the holiday (Advent in the church calendar) and the season of Christmas. This distinction is not as pronounced in much of the Anglo world but is marked out in Italy through customs, rituals, and foods. The second difference I noted was the length of the seasons. As a child, I remember how abruptly Christmas seemed to end. I longed for it to arrive, and then, when it did, by the 26th, it was over. We already had our stripped tree on the curb before the new year and cleaned the house of decorations. In Italy, I was surprised that Christmas is not a day, but a season, which extends until January 6. Step 3: Preparation for Christmas (Advent): Though the church calendar shows that Advent begins four weeks before Christmas, in many Italian households, the decorations, tree, and creche (minus the Christ child statue) come out on December 8, the holiday and feast of the Immaculate Conception. In the 1980s, I was in an Italian seminary; nine days before Christmas, we were led to a freezing church to participate in prayers and songs in preparation (Novena). Christmas carols were not sung until Midnight mass and would continue until January 6. There was a nativity scene in the church, but a group of Americans (myself included) went to the priest in charge to ask if we could also get and decorate a Christmas tree. "Absolutely not!" he exclaimed. "That is a pagan symbol and has no place in a seminary!" When the Vatican set up a tree in front of the basilica the following year, he kept his mouth shut. In Italy, December 8 is a religious and civic holiday. In some areas of Puglia communities gather to build a big bonfire on that day. There are various explanations for its meaning: some believe that it symbolizes purification from sin or impurities, others that it is a type of prayer asking that the land be fertile this year. The fire is often accompanied by tastings of regional wines, dishes like the puccia (roll filled with cheese and sometimes tuna), and Baccalà, or fish. Another custom in Italy that struck me as different than in California was the focus on the Nativity scene. In the neighborhood in Rome where I lived, there was a yearly contest in which children would create the coolest nativity scene, and the priest would come and visit each one, take notes, and then decide on the three top winners. But the nativity scenes never had the statue of the baby before Christmas eve. Step 4: Christmas day. Let's start with the food. We all know about panettone, so I'll skip that here. I love it, overeat it, and it is now available everywhere in the US. Enough said about panettone. As many know, foods in Italy are regional, so what one may cook for a Christmas feast, say, in the Dolomites, will be different from Lecce. My experience of Christmas eve meals begins in Rome, where we ate fish or vegetarian dishes as a nod to a Christmas eve fast of previous ages. Nothing extravagant, but it was/is always a nice fish-based meal. Some regions of Italy have more elaborate traditions of serving seven types of fish on Christmas eve and other specific dishes marked out for the eve of the great feast. Meals on Christmas day are incredible multi-dish, multi-serving creations. In Italy, I have had the privilege of experiencing Christmas dinners (pranzo) in homes, seminaries, and restaurants. Let's talk about restaurants. My experiences of Christmas day meals at restaurants have not been great. When we did dine out, we had no choice since we were traveling. I frequented a restaurant a bit off the beaten path not far from Piazza Navona in Rome. The food was always fine. We were in Rome on Christmas day one year and hoped for an excellent festive meal. This restaurant was open, so my partner and I slipped in, got a table, and were served a pretty bad meal. Some years later, we were in Assisi, and I knew we would need to eat somewhere on Christmas day. So I researched and read Yelp reviews and found one with high marks, so I made a reservation a month beforehand. Since we arrived in Assisi the day before, we asked some locals where we could eat that same day, and they directed us to a restaurant not far from the main square. We made our way there and had an incredible meal of freshly prepared Umbrian food. The next day we went to the restaurant I found on the internet. To make a long story short, the food was not great. The moral of this story: Always, yes, always ask a local about food. Another rule of thumb is to avoid tourist restaurants, especially on Christmas day, but that isn't easy to do when traveling. Now let's talk about nativity scenes. Visiting nativity scenes is a wonderful tradition for Christmas day and season. I have beautiful memories of living in Rome and strolling through the city with friends after the big midday meal and a short nap. All the churches would be open, displaying their nativity scenes. We knew where the best ones were, with running streams, animated figures, and a rising sun. Step 5: Christmas season: the Befana. When I first moved to Italy, I was baffled by this weird tradition about a good witch who flies around and gives kids toys or rocks. During my first year in Italy, while in the seminary, one of the guys showed up at lunch dressed up as the Befana. What the fuck, I thought to myself. It sort of shocked me. But I got used to the story of the Befana and seeing her for what she is: a beautiful legend about seeking and generosity. There are various explanations of the legend's origin, but the one I like is that the three magi following the star stopped at her village. She offered them lodging. The following day the magi asked if she would like to come with them; she said no. She was too busy. But after they left, she had a change of heart. So she went off to search for them and the Christ child, and she is still on that quest today, leaving candy or coal for children along the way. I love that story. Insights: Italy has many Christmas traditions, depending on the region, the town, or the family. What I take from my experience in Italy includes: Christmas has two parts: preparation and season. Secondly, the feast is so big that it cannot be savored in only one day. And January 6, the Epiphany, in many regions, is just as important as December 25 itself. Merry Christmas to you. Watch for my book coming around the 1st of the year: "Stories from Puglia: Two Californians in Southern Italy." ( https://www.bookdepository.com/Stories-from-Puglia-Mark-Tedesco/9781913680640?ref=grid-view&qid=1671387646362&sr=1-1 ) More next time.