PART 107: It might be interesting to share how we pulled off living in Italy for part of the year. I will post some steps and what we are learning along the way. We love every minute of it, and what was once a dream is our life! We live in Tuscany in the Fall, then back again in the Spring, and in California for the rest of the time (in a previous blog, I explained why we live in Italy only part of the year). Step 1: As we explore areas and towns in Italy, we discover some gems worth sharing. Some are well-known tourist magnets, and others are lesser-known but always amazing. This week, let's explore Ostia Antica. This is my adventure from a few weeks ago: I arrived shortly after the complex opened, around 8:45 in the morning. The first thing I noticed was that, besides the archaeologists working, maybe four of us were visiting that day. Ostia is off the tourist radar, offering a different type of experience compared to what one would have at Pompeii. Step 2: History. Ostia's location, close to the Tiber River for trade and near the valuable salt pans, made it an ideal city site. Legend suggests Ostia dates back to the 7th century BC, but archaeologists have found only remains from the 4th century BC. The city flourished between the late 1st and early 3rd centuries AD due to the construction and expansion of the maritime port, especially under Emperor Trajan. Ostia became Rome's main port, evidenced by the numerous warehouses and shops that still exist today. A typical Roman town had a forum, and the Ostia forum was built in the first century AD under Tiberius. In the 2nd and 3rd centuries AD, Ostia reached a population of around 100,000. With such a large population, various amenities were necessary. The city boasted a large theater, public baths, numerous taverns, inns, and even a firefighting service. In terms of religion, the cult of Mithras thrived, as indicated by the 18 Mithraea found in the city. Ostia is also home to the earliest synagogue discovered in Europe and the remains of a church commemorating the death of St. Monica, the mother of St. Augustine, who died in Ostia. Ostia continued to thrive until the 5th century, as evidenced by repairs to the baths, new constructions, and street repaving. However, Ostia's decline began after the Fall of the Roman Empire in 476 AD. As Rome's population shrank to 200,000 or less by 500 AD, Ostia also experienced a gradual decline. The city suffered a final blow during the naval battle of Ostia in 849 between Christians and Saracens, and the remaining inhabitants eventually abandoned the town. Step 3: Sights. The theater. The amphitheater in Ostia is one of the most impressive buildings in the city. It can seat 4,000 spectators and is located near the forum, making it a central part of the city. The theater was originally built during Augustus's reign and later expanded. It is one of the oldest brick theaters in the world. During my recent visit, the amphitheater was set up for production, with extra seating, a temporary stage, and theater lights. Although this setup detracted from the historical ambiance, I could still envision ancient plays being performed for the rapt audience of Ostians. I sat there, imagining the crowds' delight and the masked actors' drama. Behind the stage, three marble theatrical masks reflected the dramatic style of that time. The Thermopolium. The word "Thermopolium" refers to what we would call fast food today. In Ostia, there is a street window where customers could order food to go. The counter has recesses for food storage and amphorae of cheap wine. This Thermopolium in Ostia, dating back to the 3rd century, is one of the nicer ones I've seen. It has indoor seating and a beautifully painted menu displayed behind the counter. Most Thermopoliae in Ostia offered food options such as eggs, olives, turnips, lentils, meat, or fish, all seasoned with garum. Stepping into this café quickly transported me back to the ancient world; I could almost hear the lively conversations and the clatter of serving dishes. Take a few minutes to stop and listen! Baths of Neptune. I visited Ostia and saw the remains of some of the 26 different baths, but my favorite was Neptune's Baths. The complex is huge at 4,400 square meters and was built during Hadrian's reign in 139 AD. As I climbed the stairs beside the entrance, I was amazed to find four massive black and white mosaics on the top level. They depicted Neptune riding a chariot surrounded by marine animals, nymphs, and sea divinities. I also saw a mosaic of athletes in the palestra, including boxers with spiked gloves and wrestlers. Neptune's Baths also have an open-air gym surrounded by marble columns and a life-sized statue of Sabina, the wife of Hadrian, dressed as the goddess Ceres, which was found in the central area. The mosaics in the baths pulsate with life, and they are well worth the climb and further exploration. Mithraeum of Felicissimus. Sixteen Mithraea have been discovered in Ostia so far, indicating that the cult of Mithras, popular among Roman soldiers, was also embraced by the citizens there. However, due to the secretive nature of the Mithras cult, the Mithraeum are not conspicuous and require deliberate searching to be found. I found and visited the Mithraeum of Felicissimus and was glad to see it deserted. What is truly fascinating about this Mithraeum is the depiction of the stages through which initiates underwent a spiritual transformation within this belief system. While I won't delve into each specific stage here (I explore each step in my book "She Seduced Me: A Love Affair with Rome"), visiting this Mithraeum allowed me to make my own observations. The benches on each side evoked a sense of community, while the area where the altar once stood (now gone) was the focal point: a place for worship and emulation of Mithras' virtues. There was a connection to purification through blood; occasionally, an animal was sacrificed, and initiates would be marked with or dip their toe into the blood. The path of virtue was displayed on the floor for them to follow. It is a remarkable site and, in my opinion, signifies the human spirit's perpetual quest for meaning beyond the routines of everyday life. Step 4: Cool things. The best way to experience Ostia is to visit early in the day. When you have the archeological park to yourself, you can truly feel the connection with the ancient stones, frescoes, and monuments. There are two approaches to exploring Ostia: wandering aimlessly or pursuing a specific goal. I have tried both methods, and wandering can lead to pleasant surprises and unexpected discoveries. However, you might miss out on some of the site's hidden treasures. Another effective way to explore Ostia is by setting a specific goal. For instance, I visited to find as many Mithraea as possible. To prepare for this, I researched beforehand and used a guidebook to locate them. Although finding them without a guide is possible, having one can significantly shorten the search time. Insights: Visiting Ostia Antica was one of the summer's most rewarding experiences. It allowed me to connect with the ancient world, escape the crowds of tourists, and gain a deeper appreciation for the incredible civilization that existed in Italy. More next time. SECOND EDITION NOW ON SALE FOR $2.99!  “She Seduced Me: A Love Affair with Rome.” https://a.co/d/4Bx0Eh3 .  Amazon Italy- my book “Lei mi ha sedotto. Una storia d'amore con Roma”: https://amzn.eu/d/13nuZCL .

PART 108: It might be interesting to share how we pulled off living in Italy for part of the year. I will post some steps and what we are learning along the way. We love every minute of it, and what was once a dream is our life! We live in Tuscany in the Fall, then back again in the Spring, and in California for the rest of the time (in a previous blog, I explained why we live in Italy only part of the year). Step 1: As we explore areas in Italy, we are discovering some gems worth sharing. Some are well-known tourist magnets, and others are lesser-known but always amazing. This week, let's explore our return to life in Tuscany. Step 2: As you read this blog, we are currently in our car, driving from the Rome airport to our place in Tuscany. We lived in Puglia for about a year and a half before finding a house in Tuscany last September. We made an offer, purchased the house, and took possession of it in February of this year. We then spent several months renovating the house in Tuscany before returning to California in April. Now that most of the renovation is completed, what will be different as we return to Tuscany? Step 3: Transportation As we usually stay in Italy for about three months at a time, we have been avoiding typical daily rate car rental agencies as they can be too expensive. Initially, we used a car leasing company, Renault ( https://www.autoeurope.com/short-term-car-lease-europe/ ), which worked well for a few years. However, the prices eventually skyrocketed, and it was no longer a good deal. Through word of mouth in Puglia, we discovered a company that rents out used cars. Although this option sacrificed some reliability, the great rates made it worthwhile, and we used this company for a few stays. This time, we decided to try something different. While in Rome, we approached every second-tier car rental company at the central train station with the help of a local friend. We found that many offer off-season month-long rental packages for as little as 400 euros per month, including insurance. Since these packages start on October 1, we are doing a daily rate rental until then and then switch to the month-long rental until we leave in October. I will share an update on how it goes in a follow-up blog post. Step 4: Renovation versus stability We lived in our house in Tuscany during the winter while it was being renovated. We had no working shower, little hot water, and dust everywhere. Some days, we just wished to return to California. A few days before we left Italy in April, the bathrooms were completed, the new kitchen was installed, and the new furniture arrived. The house needs painting inside, and then it will be all done. We will be in Arcidosso later today and are looking forward to enjoying the house, a greater sense of stability, and not having to constantly worry about supplies, work completion, and timelines. In other words, this visit will have much less stress, if any. Step 5: Our first international road trip One of our goals is to use our house as a base to explore Europe, and we will go on our first international road trip. In October, we will jump in the car. Six hours later, we will be in Monaco in the south of France. We will continue to Nice for an overnight stay and then to Lourdes for a few days. We plan to circle back to Nice, meet my sister and brother-in-law, and spend a few days exploring the area. After that, we will drive south along the coast and stay in Liguria before returning to Monte Amiata. If it sounds like a fantastic adventure, imagine how I'm feeling! Yes, I will get a blog written on it once we complete the trip. Step 6: Visitors We are expecting our first visitors from abroad this Fall. A good friend from Oslo will stay with us, followed by family from California. Being able to share our incredible experience of living in Italy increases our sense of amazement. We keep looking at one another, asking, "How did this happen?" With visitors in town, we will probably stick to our regular routine: gym, breakfast at our favorite café, and a field trip to a new area or town. Step 7: Experience life as a local We are excited about experiencing local life this time. Feeling stable or enjoying the moment during our renovation project was challenging. We had a lot on our minds, with many errands and unexpected situations while renovating a 16th-century house. So, being able to wake up, calmly drink coffee, go to our local gym, greet our friends, have another coffee, and then get in the car to explore... all of that sounds heavenly. Insights: As we drive from Rome to our life in Tuscany, we look forward to a new chapter where we can feel more established, have a greater sense of belonging, and be willing to make this an adventure. More next time. SECOND EDITION NOW ON SALE FOR $2.99!  “She Seduced Me: A Love Affair with Rome.” https://a.co/d/4Bx0Eh3 .  Amazon Italy- my book “Lei mi ha sedotto. Una storia d'amore con Roma”: https://amzn.eu/d/13nuZCL .

PART 109: It might be interesting to share how we pulled off living in Italy for part of the year. I will post some steps and what we are learning along the way. We love every minute of it, and what was once a dream is our life! We live in Tuscany in the Fall, then back again in the Spring, and in California for the rest of the time (in a previous blog, I explained why we live in Italy only part of the year). Step 1: As we explore areas and towns in Italy, we discover some gems worth sharing. Some of these are well-known tourist magnets; others are lesser known but always amazing. This week's blog is about how travel influences my writing. This blog also marks the launch of the second edition of some of my travel-related books. They are all on sale at $2.99. Step 2: Background I never knew I could write. (I still don't think I can write well.) But when I was scheduled for after-school tutoring at my high school, and no students showed up, I had to fill the time productively. So, I started to write. That was over 15 years and 9 books ago. Recently, I've been revising some of my books for a second edition. Step 3: Travel and writing Traveling inspires me, living in Italy inspires me, meeting people who take risks to realize their dreams inspires me, and anyone who wants more than the 9-5 inspires me! When I write, a story "comes" to me. For example, while walking up the Acropolis in Athens one evening, I met a stray dog who followed me to the top. The next evening, the same thing happened with the same dog. So, I began to wonder what life might look like through that dog's eyes. Soon, a flood of images from the past and present filled my imagination. A story began to form, and I wrote it down as best I could. That was the beginning of "The Dog on the Acropolis." Other encounters, experiences, and adventures inspired other stories. I want to share some of them here, focusing on the recently published books as a second edition. Step 4: She Seduced Me: A Love Affair with Rome I vividly remember the moment in Rome when the idea for this book first came to me. I was in Trastevere, standing in a piazza, contemplating what sets Rome apart from other cities like Prague, Paris, and Vienna. Suddenly, it dawned on me: Rome is defined by its stories. I set out to uncover these stories by interviewing street performers, befriending archaeologists, and delving into the city's history at the library. I also drew from my own experiences in the city and intertwined them with the lives of historical figures such as Augustus, Nero, Caravaggio, and Livia. Additionally, I sought out expats, locals, and Roman shop owners, exploring even the most hidden corners of Rome to reveal its secrets. The result of my endeavors is this book, which offers readers an opportunity to comprehend Rome through the narratives that have shaped it throughout history. Writing this book was an adventure as I pushed myself out of my comfort zone to engage with strangers performing on the streets of Rome, learn from archaeologists about the tales beneath the city, and gain insights from locals on their unique perspectives, such as their ability to spot an American from far away. I am immensely proud of the end product and believe it offers a captivating perspective on Rome. Link Step 5: I am John, I am Paul: A Story of Two Soldiers in Ancient Rome I heard the story of 4th-century soldiers John and Paul during a trip to Rome. Their last recorded words to each other piqued my interest, prompting me to research their lives. This involved studying Latin documents, consulting with archaeologists, and spending hours at their excavated home on the Caelian Hill in Rome. After 8 years of research and writing, the result is a powerful and emotional book. The story astounded me as I uncovered the historical record. I've received a lot of emotional feedback about the book, both positive and negative, but the beautiful and haunting true story remains with me. Link Step 6: The Dog on the Acropolis The story came to me while I was on the Acropolis. It's both an animal story and a work of historical fiction. The story follows Draco, a dog living in present-day Athens on the Acropolis, and Daria, another dog who lived when the Parthenon was being built. The reader is drawn into present-day Athens and the lives of several humans working in the Plaka at the base of the Acropolis. Draco happens upon the scene, and these disconnected individuals begin to form bonds with one another and the dog. In the evening, Draco ascends the Acropolis to sleep on the steps of the Parthenon, where he dreams of his ancestors who lived there. Through his dreams, the reader is drawn into Ancient Greece and becomes a participant in the adventures of Daria, a dog belonging to a stone cutter, and his wife. The story gradually unfolds as humans and canines become transformed by one another. I enjoyed writing this book and learned a lot from the research I did to make it historically accurate. Link Step 7: Loving Hoping Believing I went through a period of intense emotional attachment, great joy, and tremendous loss. During that time, I found a poem in my imagination every day. So, I wrote them down, and the fruit of that intense period of my life is this book of poetry. Link Step 8: Lessons and Beliefs: Learning to Love “Lessons and Beliefs” is a collection of stories about healthy and unhealthy love and the building blocks of a lasting relationship. The “lessons” are derived from real life experiences which the author shares in each chapter. The book is travel related, since the events recounted take place in Rome, Naples, Santorini and of course, California. Link Step 9: Insights Stories bring vibrancy to life, and I aspire for my books to offer insight and joy to others. More next time. All my books on sale at Amazon, Barnes and Noble and any fine bookstore: https://www.amazon.com/stores/Mark-Tedesco/author/B00A504PO2?ref=ap_rdr&isDramIntegrated=true&shoppingPortalEnabled=true .  Amazon Italy- "Lei mi ha sedotto. Una storia d'amore con Roma": https://amzn.eu"d/13nuZCL .

PART 112: It might be interesting to share how we pulled off living in Italy for part of the year. I will post some steps and what we are learning along the way. We love every minute of it, and what was once a dream is our life! We live in Tuscany in the Fall, then back again in the Spring, and in California for the rest of the time (in a previous blog, I explained why we live in Italy only part of the year). Step 1: As we explore areas in Italy, we discover some gems that are worth sharing. Some are well-known tourist magnets, and others are lesser-known but always amazing. This week, let's explore what has changed so far as we begin our third year of living in Italy. Step 2: Retirement and jumping in. I retired two years ago last July, and two weeks later, we began living in Italy. We decided to jump in rather than wait until we had everything figured out because life is short, and we wanted to realize our dream. We rented a place in Puglia for three months during our first year to test the waters. In our second year, we decided to lease the same place for 12 months, staying for 3 months at a time twice a year. However, during our second year living in Italy (Puglia), everything changed, and we decided to move to Tuscany. Step 3: Why Puglia? In previous blog posts, I discussed our initial move to Puglia, what we enjoyed, and why we eventually decided to leave. To sum up, we cherished the friendships we made in Puglia. The lifestyle reminded us of southern California, and we appreciated the welcoming atmosphere and stunning scenery, including beautiful beaches and a peaceful way of life. As our second year in Puglia unfolded, we started to feel that the region resembled southern California too much. After some introspection, we realized that we were more interested in the historical and cultural landmarks in the north rather than the picturesque beaches reminiscent of those in California. Consequently, at the end of our second year in Italy, we loaded up our van and set off for Tuscany. Step 4: Our first three months in Tuscany During the winter of our second year in Italy, we flew to Tuscany and closed on our house. We immediately started working on renovations with the help of a great contractor. However, living amid the renovation was challenging. Despite trying to do some sightseeing and enjoy field trips, the stress of managing materials, making renovation decisions, and putting the house together took a toll on us. By the end of our stay, we were ready to return home and take a break from Tuscany and from traveling for a while. Step 5: Back in California After completing most of the renovation project, we returned to California in April. Unfortunately, we didn't have much time to enjoy the house in Tuscany before leaving. We managed to have the kitchen and hot water heater installed a few days before departing, and we were able to get it basically furnished before leaving as well. Upon our return to California, whenever my partner mentioned a possible trip, I responded, "I don't want to think about traveling!" It was probably due to feeling a little burned out from living through a renovation in another country and lacking basic conveniences like a stove and hot water. However, as the weeks and months have passed, we find ourselves eagerly looking forward to our next three-month stint in Italy. The initial challenges of the renovation have faded, the healing process has taken place, and we are now ready for the next adventure. Step 6: Year 3 begins By the time this blog is posted, we will be in Italy, beginning our third year. The differences this time will include: - We will have a sense of stability from having a renovated house. - We will not have to think about renovation issues 24 hours a day. - We will have time to explore Tuscany and other parts of Italy. - We will take our first international road trip to France. - We will have our first visitors staying with us. - We will have more opportunities to spend time with our local friends in Italy. - We will be open to what our third year in Italy will reveal. - We will have the opportunity to relish the moment. Step 7: Update It is now the end of October, and we are deep into our third year in Italy. Completing the house renovations has brought us a sense of stability and joy. While we still have some projects to tackle, they are not urgent, and we don't let them disrupt our peace of mind. We have been exploring our area both on our own and with friends, and we are increasingly captivated by Italy's beauty, history, and culture, especially Tuscany. Recently, we spent a delightful day in Monticchiello, hiked in the Val d'Orcia, and experienced Gregorian chants at the Monastery of Oliveto. We also just returned from a road trip to France, where we visited Nice, Monaco, and Lourdes. It was incredible, and the drive was easy. I plan to write a blog post about those experiences. Our visitors will arrive on Friday, and our local friends have been reaching out to us. We've enjoyed a bonfire dinner and toured a 1,000-year-old abbey with them. We are seizing the moment and are eager to fully experience everything life in Italy offers. Insights: Living in Italy has been a journey of learning, understanding, adapting, and being open. We never thought we would end up in Tuscany, yet here we are. We never thought we would be living in Italy, for that matter, and yet it is our reality. I wonder what our third year here will bring! More next time. My new novel is on sale now for $2.99! "Onward: A Life on a Sailboat" is a tale that will draw the reader to the Amalfi coast, the deserts of Algeria, the south of France, and beyond. https://a.co/d/3hhJkxE Amazon Italy- my book “Lei mi ha sedotto. Una storia d'amore con Roma”: https://amzn.eu/d/13nuZCL .

PART 109: It might be interesting to share how we pulled off living in Italy for part of the year. I will post some steps and what we are learning along the way. We love every minute of it, and what was once a dream is our life! We live in Tuscany in the Fall, then back again in the Spring, and in California for the rest of the time (in a previous blog, I explained why we live in Italy only part of the year). Let's explore a pitfall to be avoided: trying to duplicate one's life in Italy. Step 1: As we settle into our new life in Italy, we are adapting to a new culture and lifestyle. However, we have encountered other foreigners and expats who have moved to Italy with high hopes, only to end up feeling disappointed and frustrated. This week, let's delve into the self-defeating endeavor of trying to replicate one's previous life in Italy. Step 2: Comfort level. Most of us are comfortable in our own culture. Here in California, I enjoy running over to Costco to find more than I need, living in a multi-bedroom and bathroom house with a yard and access to a pool, and being able to grab a quick meal when I am busy. I enjoy the convenience of knowing where to get what I need and knowing how long it will take to get or accomplish it. In fact, when I ask Americans living in Italy what they miss the most from the US, most say "convenience." There is nothing wrong with familiarity and comfort with one's own culture and the convenience that comes with it. However, if I harbor expectations that life in another culture should operate in the same ways, this can become an obstacle to experiencing a new culture on its own terms. Step 3: Frustrations and criticisms. A few years ago, I was in a cafe in Rome and overheard an exchange between an American couple and the barista. American lady: "I want a coffee." Italian barista (in Italian and some English): "Che tipo di caffè - what kind of coffee?" The American lady, staring at the barista and not understanding. Barista: "Espresso, cappuccino, caffelatte?" The American lady, visibly annoyed and raising her voice: "I want a NORMAL coffee!" The barista shrugged his shoulders and made her an Americano. This may be an example of the "ugly American" stereotype, but it also reflects a mentality that many of us carry over to Italy, perhaps in more subtle ways. If not addressed and confronted, subtle frustrations with the workings of another culture can build and fester, ultimately ruining one's magnificent opportunity to live in Italy. I have also seen this in housing. "We need a four-bedroom, three-bathroom house in the historical center. Oh, and with a garage!" I have heard some foreigners say. "We want a house like the one we had back in the US" is another refrain. “We definitely need a yard, and we want to be in the center of town!" is another. Trying to duplicate one's life in Italy will always lead to unhappiness and prevent one from embracing what is different. Step 4: My experience. During my university years, when I first started living in Italy, I have to admit that I was sometimes the "ugly American." It was in the 1980s, and I was 19, with little world experience. I remember complaining about things like, "Hasn't anyone in this country ever heard of a seedless grape?" or "Back in California, we can grab a bite, go to a movie, and still be home before 11!" I even grumbled about how long it takes to run errands in Italy. Looking back, some of these comments make me cringe now, but at the time, my mindset prevented me from seeing the positive side of living in another culture. It took me about two years to understand that all the things I was complaining about actually had positive sides. Step 5: Changing my attitude. When I returned to California after my first two years in Italy, I realized that I had started to change without even realizing it. I noticed that the leisurely meals with friends in Italy were more about fostering connections and building relationships than just grabbing a quick dinner with friends. I also realized that taking the time to visit a produce store, butcher, and bakery in Italy ensured that I could enjoy better quality food than I could find at Costco, and friendships developed in each of those places. Furthermore, spontaneous invitations from friends in Italy for a meal or festival were often more fulfilling than scheduling events weeks in advance back in California. Step 6: Calling myself out. Living in two cultures is a privilege many don't have, and there is nothing wrong with recognizing cultural and mental differences. However, I can short-circuit my appreciation for another culture if I set myself up as a judge. I still have to call myself out when I find myself judging a whole culture or society based on having to stand in line for longer than I want, sitting at a meal for longer than I am used to, or interacting with those who have a completely different perspective on life than mine. Step 7: The reward. Appreciating and embracing another culture may come naturally for some, but we often have to work at it. Once I began to see what is behind some of these differences—community, relationship bonds, celebrating life, food, and culture—I actually came to prefer the Italian lifestyle to the one I was accustomed to in California. Insights: The surest way to have a disappointing experience while living in Italy is to try to replicate one's life from one's home country, consciously or unconsciously. Whether it's expecting the housing, food, ways of doing things, or mindsets to be the same as what we are used to, all expectations of "sameness" need to be set aside. Embracing the differences without judgment is necessary to make living in another country successful. More next time. SECOND EDITION NOW ON SALE FOR $2.99! "She Seduced Me: A Love Affair with Rome." https://a.co/d/4Bx0Eh3 . Amazon Italy- my book "Lei mi ha sedotto. Una storia d'amore con Roma": https://amzn.eu/d/13nuZCL .

PART 111: It might be interesting to share how we pulled off living in Italy for part of the year. I will post some steps and what we are learning along the way. We love every minute of it, and what was once a dream is our life! We live in Tuscany in the Fall, then back again in the Spring, and in California for the rest of the time (in a previous blog, I explained why we live in Italy only part of the year). Step 1: As we explore areas in Italy, we are discovering some gems worth sharing. Some are well-known tourist magnets, and others are lesser-known but always amazing. This week, let's stay closer to home and reflect on why we decided to establish a life in Italy and how we keep moving forward. This is a more personal blog. Step 2: I was introduced to the concept of living a "big life" many years ago when my life had shrunk. An important person in my life had developed a drug addiction, and I found myself consumed by trying to manage it. I could temporarily put aside my concerns while in the classroom with my students, but my personal life was in disarray. My thoughts were constantly occupied with questions like, "How can I make him stop?" and "Is this somehow my fault?" and "What have I overlooked or not thought of yet?" Trying to control the addictive behavior became my primary focus. When I was with friends, I would talk about the situation. When I was alone, I would dwell on it. Even in my prayers, it was all I could think about. It completely took over my life. Step 3: I reached a point where I realized I was in over my head, so I decided to seek help. I started therapy and joined a 12-step program (Al-Anon). Initially, I thought my situation was unique, and no one would understand. However, I found others facing similar challenges who had learned to shift the focus from the person with an addiction to themselves and, as a result, lead a "bigger life." Step 4: I slowly realized that I am responsible for my happiness. A therapist once told me, "He will stop using when he decides to stop," and, though a simple concept, it was like a revelation to me. I realized I was responsible for my own life, and it was time to find ways to fill my empty emotional and spiritual tank. Around this time, someone shared Abraham Lincoln's quote: "Most people are about as happy as they make up their minds to be." So, I started taking steps to stop controlling others and refocusing on my own life. Step 5: Freed up spaces When I started minding my own business, I had more time, mental space, and energy than when I was focused on others. The questions about what I wanted my life to be began to surface around this time. Step 6: Fast forward As years passed and I became emotionally healthier, I started meeting people who were more stable in their lives. My friendships improved, I found my current partner and my career flourished. Yet, through all this, I kept feeling a strong pull from Italy, where I had lived in the 1980s. Step 7: Enough? The concept of having a "bigger life" kept resurfacing as I came to more of an understanding of addiction and powerlessness over it. I remembered that, at the meetings that I attended, some people talked about a shift in focus in their lives, while others discussed learning to give the addict space and redirecting their focus on their own lives (i.e., learning to mind my own business). Some shared their experience of rediscovering personal interests that were long forgotten. During this peaceful time, when my life finally felt "normal," one day my partner asked if what our lives looked like then was enough. We had our careers, retirement plans, home, car, and favorite TV programs, but was it enough? We began questioning what a "bigger life" could mean for us. Step 8: A Life in Italy I remember the moment clearly. One afternoon, out of the blue, my partner asked, "What do you think about living in Italy when you retire from teaching?" My initial response was, "We can't afford it; plus, we could never move there." That was the response of someone accustomed to a small life. Little did he know, he had planted a seed in my mind. Step 9: All or Nothing? As we came to understand that residing in Europe did not necessarily have to be an all-or-nothing scenario, what appeared to be unattainable slowly became achievable. Initially, living abroad seemed impossible for many reasons, including work responsibilities, health issues, financial concerns, student loans and about 1,000 other things. But we made some progress by taking small steps: visiting friends in Italy, exploring the housing markets, creating financial plans, and researching full-time versus part-time living abroad. The breakthrough came when we understood that it didn't have to be a binary choice. We could live in Italy for part of the year and in California the other part. This simple idea was a revelation for us. Once we let go of the "all or nothing" mindset, we realized we could have a bigger life within our existing circumstances. I will write more about abandoning the "all or nothing" mentality in a future blog. But stepping beyond the confines of a binary choice helped us start our adventure sooner rather than later. Now, we are renovating a house in Tuscany and creating a richer life in the enchanting land of Italy. More next time. My new novel is on sale now for $2.99! "Onward: A Life on a Sailboat" is a tale that will draw the reader to the Amalfi coast, the deserts of Algeria, the south of France, and beyond. https://a.co/d/3hhJkxE Amazon Italy- my book “Lei mi ha sedotto. Una storia d'amore con Roma”: https://amzn.eu/d/13nuZCL .

PART 117: It might be interesting to share how we pulled off living in Italy for part of the year. I will post some steps and what we are learning along the way. We love every minute of it, and what was once a dream is our life! We live in Tuscany in the Fall, then back again in the Spring, and in California for the rest of the time (in a previous blog, I explained why we live in Italy only part of the year). Step 1: As we explore areas in Italy, we discover some gems worth sharing. Some of these are well-known tourist magnets; others are lesser known but always amazing. This week let's stay closer to home and try to not freeze our butts off in Tuscany. Step 2: From California to Tuscany We're Californians! What can I say? When we viewed our future house in Tuscany, it was summer. We knew it would be cold when we returned to take possession of the house in February, but we didn't realize it would be so cold inside our house. After all, we are used to southern California weather! Step 3: Our pellet heaters When we first viewed our house, we noticed two pellet heaters, one in the kitchen and the other in the main bedroom upstairs. The kitchen pellet stove occupied much floor space in one of the room's corners, so we removed it. We were planning on addressing the heating situation later. We opted to keep the pellet stove in the main bedroom since there was ample space, intending to learn how to use it when we returned in February. Step 4: "It's fuc—ing cold!" my partner said as we stepped into the house in February. "It's warmer than usual due to climate change," everyone kept telling us. "There is very little snow on Monte Amiata, a popular ski area," locals told us. It didn't feel warm to us. It felt fuc—ing freezing. Nevertheless, we made it inside the house, poured a bag of pellets into the upstairs furnace, and turned up the heat. The effect wasn't immediate, but the room started to warm up after about 30 minutes. Step 5: The rest of the house We managed to keep the main bedroom warm, but the rest of the house was another matter. The kitchen/living room had a pellet heater in it, so when we removed it, there wasn't any heating source. We thought we could live with it until we figured out a more comprehensive solution, but we were wrong. The room was cold, and the window glass was thin (we are replacing those). We finally got a space heater, but it kept shutting down the electricity because of too many watts. Finally, I got an electric blanket and wrapped myself in that when I needed the room for writing or studying. When my partner came down for dinner, we shut down the electricity upstairs and turned on the space heater for a bit. Our second bathroom was under construction, so we had only the main bathroom, which was the temperature of a walk-in freezer. At least, it felt like that to us Californians. So when one needed to use the bathroom, well, it wasn't fun. We found an oil-filled plug-in radiator that operated at a lower wattage. Keeping that on next to the toilet helped. Since we had a tiny hot water heater then, we didn't shower at the house but went to the gym for that. The last room was our second bedroom, which doubles as an office, with a second bathroom under construction. It had no heating, and the radiator wasn't strong enough to heat the room. So we just avoided using it. We need solutions. Step 6: Solutions Living in the house during the renovation and winter was challenging but ultimately a positive experience. It allowed us to better understand the improvements needed to make the home more comfortable. Here are the heating solutions we implemented toward the end of our stay: For the kitchen/living room: We currently have an electric log set in the fireplace, which creates a pleasant atmosphere and provides heat. We plan to use this as a temporary solution for the first year. If it doesn't provide enough heat, or running it gets too expensive, our contractor suggested a low wattage heating system that involves a slab or stone mounted on the wall. It's heated from behind and creates a warm and cozy atmosphere. We intend to invest in this solution if the current one isn't sufficient ( Update: the electric log system, even on the low wattage setting, warms the room up nicely and keeps it warm ). We found that electric towel racks emit enough heat for the two bathrooms to warm the rooms. The main bathroom's towel rack has a small heater and fan built into it, which we found on Amazon. We decided to keep the pellet stove for the main bedroom, as it works well, and we've grown accustomed to its comforting flames. The guest bedroom is also fed by the pellet heating system and this works well for us. Step 7: Outside We have already discussed how we manage the cold weather inside our house in Tuscany. But what about outside? Locals have repeatedly mentioned that this has been the warmest winter they have experienced in a long time. We witnessed this when we saw people skiing on Monte Amiata, where they had to use artificial snow. However, what felt warm to the locals felt freezing to us, coming from southern California. We made sure to bundle up and blast the car heating whenever we ventured out of the house. One day, after the gym, we drove to the neighboring town to inquire about getting WiFi at our house. It was a cold, windy day. While my partner stayed in the car, I went to the tobacco store, which also served as a point of sale for WiFi service. I usually wear an outback-style brimmed hat, and as soon as I got out of the car, a gust of wind blew my hat off my head, landing about half a block away under a truck. It was in the middle of where the truck was parked, and I didn't want to risk crawling under it. I informed the driver about what happened, and he kindly pulled his truck forward. However, in doing so, he ran over my hat. I wanted to curse the wind, but what good would that do? So I put the battered hat back on my head and went to the tobacco store to discuss internet service. It was a frustrating day, but over the following weeks, we noticed that the longer we spent in Tuscany during the cold months, the more we learned how to navigate it. We began going on leisurely drives, in our heated car, through the beautiful rolling hills, taking gravel roads and ending up at wineries, restored castles, or panoramic views. Sometimes, we stopped to explore on foot; other times, we enjoyed the beautiful drive. We realized that the cold weather didn't have to limit our experience of exploring the magical land of Tuscany. Step 7: The path forward We haven't figured out all the details of our adventure of living in Tuscany, but learning along the way is part of the experience. Navigating the cold weather while renovating our house was tough, but it also helped us find ways to enjoy our time living in this incredible place. Step 8: An update We found that the electric hearth/log in our living room quickly heats up the room, even on the low wattage setting. So that solution works well. The bathrooms are toasty warm with the towel rack heaters. The pellet heater in the main bedroom continues to work well and warms both bedrooms. We now have double pane glass for our windows, which keeps in the heat all over the house. My new novel is on sale now for $2.99! "Onward: A Life on a Sailboat" is a tale that will draw the reader to the Amalfi coast, the deserts of Algeria, the south of France, and beyond. https://a.co/d/3hhJkxE Amazon Italy- my book “Lei mi ha sedotto. Una storia d'amore con Roma”: https://amzn.eu/d/13nuZCL .  Please check out my blog: https://www.marktedesco.com/blog

PART 116:  It might be interesting to share how we pulled off living in Italy for part of the year. I will post some steps and what we are learning along the way. We love every minute of it, and what was once a dream is our life! We live in Tuscany in the Fall, then back again in the Spring, and in California for the rest of the time (in a previous blog, I explained why we live in Italy only part of the year). Step 1: As we explore areas in Italy, we discover some gems that are worth sharing. Some are well-known tourist magnets, and others are lesser-known but always amazing. This week, come with me as I share how my book presentation went in Rome. Step 2: Italian version? I was thrilled when my book about Rome, "She Seduced Me: A Love Affair with Rome," was published in Italian. Having a book about Italy published in Italian has been a long-time dream of mine, and it seemed like an impossible goal to reach. However, Alpes Libri in Rome liked the book, so they signed a contract with the publisher, and the Italian version was released last September. Step 3: Marketing. Getting a book published is just the beginning, not the end. The next step is getting people to buy the book. While major publishing houses have large advertising budgets, I usually work with small or midsize publishers, which means I am responsible for most marketing efforts. Step 4: Historical libraries. In a previous blog post, I mentioned that when I spend an extended amount of time in Rome, I often visit one of the city's historical libraries to study and write. My favorite historical library in Rome is Biblioteca Vallicelliana ( https://cultura.gov.it/luogo/biblioteca-vallicelliana ), located near Piazza Navona. The library's impressive 16th-century lecture hall has recently been restored. During one of my visits, I inquired whether they host lectures or presentations in that hall. The staff member on duty informed me that they do and provided me with the email of the person to contact if I was interested in presenting something about Rome from a Californian perspective. I sent an email, and, to my surprise and delight, I was invited to present at the library on September 11, 2024. Step 5: The preparation. I started thinking about how to present specific themes from the book in a captivating and interactive manner. Given my 25 years of experience as a high school history teacher in Los Angeles, I wanted to utilize my classroom expertise to create a presentation that would hold the audience's attention. I began reflecting on how to present some themes in the book in an interesting and interactive way. Step 6: The presentation. Before the presentation, I created a Google Slides show over several months. Since I am a visual thinker, and most of my high school students share this trait, I incorporated numerous images, photos, and gifs into the presentation to help convey my message. I then considered which parts of the book would pique the interest of the invitees. The following topics seemed most intriguing: - My personal story and how it influenced the book - The stories of three street performers - My fascination with archaeology and the narrative of my archaeology professor - A journey through Rome: from 1300s Sweden to WWII, to a 15th-century fountain, a shopping mall from 110 A.D., and the university dating back to 1222 - My quest for Caravaggio - Making sense of the Vatican Museums at night I invited my translator, an Italian professor in California who also lives in Italy, to participate. I aimed for an informal presentation format, walking among the approximately 25 attendees and narrating the city's captivating history while controlling the slides from my phone. Step 7: Engaging or not? When teaching high school students, I can quickly tell if they are engaged in the lesson. If I notice their attention waning, I switch to a different approach. However, with adult audiences, it's more challenging for me to gauge their level of interest. I kept the presentation to about 35 minutes, with a Q&A session. Following the presentation, I invited questions from the audience, but there were few responses. Despite my attempts to engage them with questions, they didn't seem very interested in the interactive portion. Rather than insist on participation, I moved on. To conclude, I provided information on where the book could be purchased and how to contact me, and I suggested a location for an aperitif. Step 8: After the presentation. One of the surest signs that a presentation went well is if the participants do not leave the room immediately. Most participants stayed for a significant time afterward, chatting, exchanging stories, and connecting with one another. Step 9: The reward. I invest the little money I make from my books into marketing, so the reward of writing a book or posting a blog is not financial. As I greeted friends and acquaintances from my past and new friends in the present in the 16th-century conference hall, I realized this was the reward. Relationships. For example, I interviewed "The Sparkle" in the chapter on street performers. She came to the presentation, and afterwards, she mentioned that she now lives in Arcidosso on Via San Nicoló, which is strange because my partner and I purchased a house on that same street. I am still scratching my head. How is that possible? It was also a joy to see Joseph, whom I interviewed in the book, present with his family. Two friends (who are excellent realtors), Sandro and Emanuele, came down from Tuscany just for the presentation. There were others present from my past that I am not mentioning, but the whole experience filled me with an overwhelming sense of gratitude. Insights: During my time in Italy, I learned that relationships matter most. As I observed the participants during the presentation and spoke with them afterward, I was again reminded of this truth. Ultimately, everything comes down to relationships. More next time. SECOND EDITION NOW ON SALE FOR $2.99! "She Seduced Me: A Love Affair with Rome." https://a.co/d/4Bx0Eh3 . Amazon Italy- my book "Lei mi ha sedotto. Una storia d'amore con Roma": https://amzn.eu/d/13nuZCL .

PART 125- It might be interesting to share how we pulled off living in Italy for part of the year. I will post some steps and what we are learning along the way. We love every minute of it, and what was once a dream is our life! We live in Tuscany in the Fall, then back again in the Spring, and in California for the rest of the time (in a previous blog, I explained why we live in Italy only part of the year). Step 1: As we explore areas in Italy, we discover some gems that are worth sharing. Some are well-known tourist magnets, and others are lesser-known but always amazing. This week let's go to Lourdes together. Step 2: Why? When I was a child, my mother was battling cancer, and she expressed a desire to go to Lourdes. As I grew older, I understood the significance of such a trip for her, but I never thought I would have the opportunity to go myself. One day, after watching a documentary about a yearly gathering of wounded military personnel in Lourdes, my partner—who is not Catholic—said, "I want to go to Lourdes." That was a few years ago. Fast-forward to the time we purchased our house in Tuscany. We envisioned using our home as a base for exploring Europe, and France seemed like the easiest destination to reach. I started making plans: Monaco was in 5½ hours, Nice in 6 hours, and Lourdes was a 7½-hour drive from Nice. I suggested, "What if we go to Nice and Lourdes in the fall?" He agreed that it would be a fantastic trip. Without much effort, everything fell into place for our journey to Lourdes. As the prospect of driving to Lourdes became a reality, I remembered my mother's longing to go there and her inability to do so. She eventually succumbed to cancer but held on to her faith and hope. In a way, my trip to Lourdes fulfilled her unachieved desire. Regarding what I hoped to gain from the trip, I decided to remain open to whatever the experience might bring without preconceptions or expectations. Step 3: The town of Lourdes Our priest friend from California advised, "Ignore the town and focus on the basilica area. And just be open to whatever the experience brings. " He was absolutely right. The town of Lourdes gives the impression that it has seen better days. Parts are shabby, featuring shuttered hotels and vacant buildings next to tourist shops and dingy eateries. There is also an abundance of religious goods stores selling everything from plastic statues and resin nativity scenes to cheap T-shirts. While I've heard some complaints about the religious goods and tourist shops in Lourdes, I don't have any philosophical objections. The residents in this relatively isolated part of France must pay rent, buy food, and support their families. So, who am I to object to their opportunity to sell things tourists want? We located our Airbnb, found a breakfast spot, stopped by a local grocery store, and then went to the main attraction that puts Lourdes on the map. Step 4: The basilica area The first thing that struck me as we entered the Basilica area was its beauty. After making our way through the town, it felt like we had entered a scene from the Wizard of Oz. The bridge leading to the two basilicas in front of us led toward the Grotto of the apparitions. The setting was postcard-perfect, with a hilly forest on one side and a swiftly flowing river on the other. The area was so vast that we didn't know where to go first. "Let's look at the church with the mosaics," my partner suggested. When we entered the lower basilica, known as the Basilica of the Rosary, we were captivated by the mosaics above the side altars. They had an Art Nouveau style yet felt traditional at the same time. The images depicted stories from the life of Christ, and we were both impressed by the craftsmanship and imagery. I sat down to absorb the atmosphere at one point, feeling a profound sense of peace. Next, we climbed the stairs to the upper basilica. It was more dramatic on the outside but felt somewhat cluttered inside. After that, we visited the Grotto of the apparitions, which my mom had longed to see. If you are not familiar with the story of Lourdes, the book and movie "The Song of Bernadette" provide a good overview of the events ( https://youtu.be/-6zAoq8tRfI?si=pYtvcgQYPFsRM-rv  ). What I appreciated about the Grotto was that it was still outdoors; anyone could approach it to watch people come and go, participate in a Mass, enter the cave and touch the rock, reflect, pray, or observe out of curiosity. The space is open to all. We then walked past the crowded bath and spring area, crossed the bridge, and found ourselves in a vast green space. We hiked around and eventually arrived at a series of open-walled chapels where one could light a candle, which I did. I took a moment to remember my mother and my friends who are struggling with illness. I noticed people in wheelchairs around, all bringing their faith and hope to this special spot. Continuing our exploration, we encountered a gathering of medical professionals, a religious procession, a group of scouts, a large contingent of young volunteers, pilgrimage groups, couples, and individuals. The amazing thing about the Basilica area is that there is something for everyone, whether religious or not. Visitors can hike up the hill, wander across the green fields, pray at the Grotto, enter the huge underground basilica, or sit by the river and watch. I believe anyone would feel comfortable at Lourdes, regardless of their background, as long as they are open to the experience. Step 5: Who was there? I have a confession: I initially thought Lourdes would be filled with weirdos. However, my stereotypes were shattered as I encountered diverse people during my visit. Some were part of religious groups, others were curious about the experience, and there were many volunteers of all ages. During the weekend we were there, an international gathering of medical professionals took place, which meant doctors in white coats and nurses were present everywhere. We also made friends with some of the seasonal employees at our morning café and hotel, who were from Italy. I was pleased to discover the variety of people at Lourdes. I'm not sure how obvious it was that we're a gay couple, but it didn't seem to concern anyone. Step 6: What happened at the baths I wanted to experience the waters at Lourdes but wasn't sure if I could access the bath area. The lines were hundreds of people long, with the sick and infirm taking precedence. By the way, full immersion is no longer the norm. Now, one enters a secluded area—alone or in a group—and is encouraged to say a prayer, wash their hands and face with the water, and drink a bit of it. Numerous fountains were located next to the bath area, where people filled containers with water or conducted their own private rituals. After seeing the situation in the bath area, I decided to do my own thing at one of the fountains. However, I remained open to the more formal experience if the line ever got shorter. The day before leaving Lourdes, I was fighting a cold. After a hike up the hill adjacent to the basilicas, we decided to return to our apartment to rest. I made some hot tea and lay down. Then, around 4 PM, I woke up and looked at the clock, remembering that the baths closed at 4:30. "Do you want to just walk over and take a look?" I suggested to my partner. "Then we can come back here, make dinner, and get ready to leave tomorrow," I continued. By 4:15, we were approaching the bath area and were astonished to find no line. "It must be closed," my partner said. But we soon realized that, for some uncanny reason, there was no one in line, and the baths were indeed open. "Do you want to come too?" I asked him. "I will come to watch," he replied. As we awaited our turn, while seated in the waiting area, we started chatting with a volunteer, a man from Minnesota. "It's easy to volunteer here. I usually come for 5-6 days; they put you up in a hotel for 25 euros a night, there's a cafeteria for volunteers, and it's an incredible experience. You might be working next to a doctor on one side and a farmer on the other. Being involved in helping people, especially the sick, really changes your perspective on life…" There wasn't time to finish the conversation as we were called in and greeted by a kind Australian lady and a Spanish gentleman. She explained the process of washing our hands and face and drinking the water and encouraged us to say a silent prayer. Then, we did it! We decided to be open to the experience, washed in the waters of Lourdes, and both emerged exclaiming, "I can't believe that we got in and were able to do that! It was as if it was meant to be!" We both felt like we were walking on air as we returned to our apartment. I finally had a sense of completion. What I had unknowingly come to Lourdes for was now accomplished. I could return home with a great sense of peace and fulfillment. My mother's wish was fulfilled. Step 7: The volunteers As we were about to exit the basilica area, we noticed the volunteer center on our left. We decided to stop in and ask a few questions before leaving. We were warmly greeted by two volunteer leaders. We inquired about the logistics of volunteering, and here are some key points they shared: They welcome volunteers from all backgrounds and faith experiences. The only requirement is a willingness to help. Each volunteer is assigned a team leader, and tasks can range from simple crowd management to accompanying an ill or disabled person seeking to experience the spiritual aspect of Lourdes. Training is provided for all volunteers. Housing costs approximately 25 euros per night in the on-site volunteer facility, which includes small single rooms with bathrooms. Alternatively, volunteers can arrange their own lodging. There's also a volunteer cafeteria available on-site. Volunteers typically help out for 5 to 6 days but they told us that they would be grateful for even 2-3. Those who commit to volunteering for 6 days over a period of 4 years (not necessarily consecutive) are offered additional training and greater responsibilities. The two volunteer leaders we spoke with were professionals: one was a kind Italian man living in Geneva who runs a real estate development company, and the other was a psychologist from Australia. They explained how they had become great friends and made it a point to schedule their volunteering time together. They shared that volunteering at Lourdes can be a life-changing experience; becoming an integral part of an ill or disabled person's world for several days can profoundly alter one's perspective on life. They recounted some fascinating stories of the various situations they encountered as volunteers. Many lasting friendships often form among the volunteers. Each of the two leaders brought different motivations to their work: one seeks to help others find meaning in their lives, while the other approaches volunteering from a more spiritual perspective and has already volunteered three times this year, describing the experience as "beautiful." They genuinely encourage anyone interested to become a volunteer, assuring us that it would be an incredible experience. To sign up or learn more about volunteering, they directed us to this website: https://www.lourdes-france.com/en/benevole/  . Step 8: Would I return to Lourdes? The simple answer is yes, as a volunteer. My experience at Lourdes was filled with unexpected joy. Fulfilling my mother's dream gave me deep gratitude and fulfillment. The opportunity to access the waters more personally at the piscine was a surprising and heartfelt experience that made me feel embraced. Meeting the other volunteers showed me a way to return. Yes, I will be back. Insights: Visiting Lourdes can be a unique experience for everyone. For me, the key was to remain open to whatever the journey might bring. My time in Lourdes involved feeling a deep connection to nature as I climbed the hill next to the basilica. I lit a large candle for my loved ones and attended a Mass in French in the beautiful lower basilica. I prayed at the Grotto, walked through the area, and had a personal experience with the waters of Lourdes in the piscine. Sharing all of this with my partner made the experience even more special. It was…amazing. More next time. My new novel is on sale now for $2.99! "Onward: A Life on a Sailboat" is a tale that will draw the reader to the Amalfi coast, the deserts of Algeria, the south of France, and beyond. https://a.co/d/3hhJkxE Amazon Italy- my book "Lei mi ha sedotto. Una storia d'amore con Roma": https://amzn.eu/d/13nuZCL .

PART 120: It might be interesting to share how we pulled off living in Italy for part of the year. I will post some steps and what we are learning along the way. We love every minute of it, and what was once a dream is our life! We live in Tuscany in the Fall, then back again in the Spring, and in California for the rest of the time (in a previous blog, I explained why we live in Italy only part of the year). Step 1: As we explore areas in Italy, we are discovering some gems worth sharing. Some are well-known tourist magnets, and others are lesser-known but always amazing . This week, let's explore our experience with Airbnb versus hotels while traveling in Europe. Step 2: When Airbnb first gained popularity, our experiences were all positive. We loved the convenience of having a kitchen and washing machine while traveling across Europe. However, as Airbnb became more widespread and dominated the short-term rental market, our experiences started to vary significantly. Now, we find ourselves preferringing to stay in hotels rather than personal rentals. What caused this change? Step 3: Recently: the hits. Last year, we flew to Budapest and stayed in a fantastic Airbnb directly across from the Hungarian Parliament building. The view was incredible, and the apartment was very comfortable. Although we couldn't get the TV to work, that was fine since we spent most of our time exploring the city. We would definitely stay there again. We also spent a few days in Assisi and discovered an Airbnb high above the streets, offering stunning views. The apartment featured a full kitchen, large windows, and a cozy living room. The price was reasonable, and we consider it a great find. Step 4: Recently: the misses. I had planned to stay in Rome for a week in September but had looked for a place a month before my trip. I had few choices since September is a busy month for the city. I knew I wanted to be close to Piazza Navona, so I found a small Airbnb that seemed to suit my needs. The reviews mentioned that it was small but included all the necessary amenities. For me, it was the Airbnb from hell. When I walked in, the clever lighting made the place look nice. However, it was summer, and I soon realized the air conditioning didn't work. When I messaged the owner, he told me to open the window (there was only one window, which was in the door). Once I did that, the place quickly filled with mosquitoes. I was left with the choice of either sweltering in the heat or being bitten by mosquitoes. Another issue was that if I had the window open, anyone could walk up to my door, look inside, and see me on the bed. The "bed" was problematic, too; it was an old futon with a stuffed mattress that felt like a rock. After the first night of not sleeping (between the hard bed and the mosquitoes), I called Airbnb. They said they would contact the manager to repair the air conditioner, but he never did. I called them again and again, and they basically told me to wait while they insisted he make the repairs. Finally, I took matters into my own hands, found a lodging run by a monastery, and transferred there. Apparently upset by my complaints to Airbnb, the owner left me a nasty review. More recently, we took a road trip to France and booked an Airbnb in Lourdes. The reviews were positive, and the photos depicted a sleek, modern apartment with a new kitchen and bathroom. However, we found a very dark apartment in a shabby area of the city. The parking was in a catacomb-like structure below the building. When I reached to place some food on top of the fridge, I was alarmed to find it covered with dust. There was mold in the shower, and the bed was so close to the floor that it was a strain to get into. It was also smaller than we had imagined, making it difficult for two people to sleep comfortably. To make matters worse, the bathroom smelled of sulfur or sewage. The advertised central heating wasn't working; the owner told us it wouldn't be available for another two weeks. The apartment was cold. Though we learned that the heating schedule depended on the French government and not on the owner, our issue was that central heating was advertised on the listing on the Airbnb website, but we were not told that there was no heating until we walked in. We felt that heating not being available during certain months should be stated beforehand. My partner found another Airbnb, and we transferred there. It was clean and modern, but when we tried to turn on the heat (since the place was still cold), we received a nasty message from the manager. She warned us that they would take action against us if we turned on the heater before the scheduled date in late October. So, we endured the chill in the house but decided not to return. In our area in Italy, we booked another Airbnb (Monte Amiata in Tuscany) for a few nights upon arriving because our house wasn't ready yet, and we needed a place to stay. Once again, the apartment looked great on the Airbnb website, but we found a cold house with only a wood-burning fireplace in the front room for heat. To light the fire, we found a small plastic cigarette lighter sitting on top of it. The bedroom and bathroom had no heating, and two broken coffee makers were on the kitchen counter. We were too tired to deal with it, so we bundled up, fell asleep, and left the following day. Step 5: Why the misses? Why are there so many hits and misses with Airbnb these days? Based on my experience, there are several reasons for this: 1. The market is oversaturated with Airbnbs, which can lead to lower overall quality. 2. Airbnb photos can be misleading, often highlighting angles that make the accommodation look better than it actually is. 3. Many listings lack exterior photos. Have you noticed that few Airbnbs include pictures of the outside of the building or the surrounding neighborhood? Have you ever wondered why? 4. Some owners take pride in their rentals, while others are primarily focused on profit. This can result in a lack of attention to important details like cleaning, providing snacks or coffee for late arrivals, and upgrading furniture or amenities. Step 6: The problem with reviews. After we checked into one of the Airbnbs mentioned earlier, my partner asked, "How did this place accumulate so many positive reviews?" We used to try to avoid bad Airbnbs by carefully reading all the reviews, but we've found that, more often than not, the reviews fail to identify the problematic listings. Why is that? Based on my experience, I prefer not to leave negative reviews for someone's Airbnb, even if there are flaws. If the owner has been friendly and helpful, I feel reluctant to criticize them publicly since it's their personal business, and I don't want to harm it. After a trip, I also prefer not to dwell on any negative aspects of the experience. Also, leaving a negative review could jeopardize my chances of securing a good Airbnb in the future, as hosts can read the reviews on the platform. Why do people leave positive reviews for places that should raise red flags? I can only speculate that travelers have different priorities. Some may be simply grateful for a bed in a great city center, a grocery store nearby, or the proximity to tourist attractions, especially compared to hotel prices. Others might focus on the helpfulness of the owner, emphasizing the positives and neglecting to mention the negatives. As a result, we often find that reviews on Airbnb overlook significant issues with a property. When unsuspecting travelers arrive, they may share our thoughts: why didn't anyone warn us about this? Step 7: Where from here? We just returned from Nice yesterday. My sister and her companions rented an Airbnb while we found a hotel by the port. Shortly after she arrived, she messaged me: "There are problems with our Airbnb. We are going to try to get into your hotel." Since our hotel was fully booked, they were stuck. On the other hand, our hotel had sea views, a great breakfast, was near the promenade, and was reasonably priced. I had researched the reviews and found them all to be positive. The lesson learned: Renting an Airbnb is increasingly like rolling the dice, even after reading the reviews. Hotel reviews are more honest and provide more detailed information, enabling one to make a more educated decision about where to stay. After investing so much time and effort in planning a trip, I don't want to jeopardize the entire vacation because of an Airbnb that doesn't meet expectations. Step 8: Your experiences with AirBnB? We invite you to share your recent AirBnB experiences in the comments section. Do your experiences align with ours, or are they different? More next time. My new novel is on sale now for $2.99! "Onward: A Life on a Sailboat" is a tale that will draw the reader to the Amalfi coast, the deserts of Algeria, the south of France, and beyond. https://a.co/d/3hhJkxE Amazon Italy- my book "Lei mi ha sedotto. Una storia d'amore con Roma": https://amzn.eu/d/13nuZCL .

PART 121: It might be interesting to share how we pulled off living in Italy for part of the year. I will post some steps and what we are learning along the way. We love every minute of it, and what was once a dream is our life! We live in Tuscany in the Fall, then back again in the Spring, and in California for the rest of the time (in a previous blog, I explained why we live in Italy only part of the year). Step 1: As we explore various regions in Italy, we are uncovering some hidden gems worth sharing. Some locations are well-known tourist attractions, while others are lesser-known yet equally amazing. This week, let's discuss what we believe is the biggest obstacle to starting a life in Italy based on our past experiences. Step 2: A quick review of expat forums and conversations with those aspiring to live in Italy highlights common challenges encountered during this transition. My partner and I have experienced many of these obstacles ourselves, and they are often discussed without clear solutions. Step 3: What Holds Back from Living in Italy? When my partner first suggested that we consider living in Italy after I retire from teaching, my initial reaction was, "We can't afford it." This concern was based on perceptions rather than actual research. Another obstacle we faced was understanding the residency requirements. We needed to determine what type of visa to apply for, how to obtain residency, and the length of time it would take to achieve dual citizenship (both US and Italian). A third challenge was healthcare. We had to consider how to access the healthcare system, whether we could afford private insurance, and what would happen if one of us required extensive medical care. The fourth challenge was the pressure to figure everything out before taking that first step. Finally, the fifth challenge was deciding where to live in Italy. Step 4: The Biggest Obstacle for Us The greatest obstacle we faced in starting our life in Italy was rooted in our mindset. We believed it had to be an all-or-nothing situation. Unless we could secure a visa, become residents, eventually obtain citizenship, and have all aspects of healthcare, housing, geography, and immigration issues figured out, we felt we couldn't move forward. Step 5: The Biggest Insight As the dream of living in Italy began to feel more distant due to these various challenges, we had a revelation: It doesn't have to be all or nothing. Step 6: Experience as a Teacher. My 25 years of high school teaching taught me that experience is the best teacher. At a certain point, we realized that we didn't need to have every detail of our journey to living in Italy figured out; we just needed to start and allow each next step to reveal itself. We chose the most logical place to move to: Puglia, where our friends live. We rented a house initially for a few weeks, then for three months, and finally for a year to begin living the experience we had always dreamed of. Step 7: Insights Gained Our experience in Italy has taken us from the south to the north, specifically Tuscany, where we recently purchased a house we are renovating (nearly finished!). While we are grateful for our incredible time in Puglia, it became clear that our genuine desire was to be closer to the historical and cultural treasures found in the north. We also wanted a location in Italy that would serve as a base for exploring the rest of Europe, as we are conveniently within driving distance of France and other neighboring countries. Additionally, our time in Puglia showed us that our long-standing friendships there are not dependent on geography but are rooted in deeper connections. Step 8: Spending Part of the Year in Italy Once we realized that living in Italy doesn't have to be an all-or-nothing situation, we recognized that spending part of the year in Italy (2-3 months, twice a year, in Spring and Fall) is an entirely feasible option. Will we pursue residency one day or live in Italy full-time? At this point, we don't know and don't need all the answers right now. The next step will become clear when it needs to. Living in Italy for part of the year, while following the Schengen Zone guidelines, alleviates concerns about residency and allows us to experience the Italian lifestyle we've always dreamed of. It also enables us to contribute to the local economy in the area where we've purchased our home. Step 9: Other People We have expat friends who took the plunge, obtained residency, and established their full-time lives in Italy without looking back. While this approach works for some—and I admire their courage and determination—it doesn't suit everyone, and that's perfectly fine. Living in Italy for part of the year is a very viable option, and I am genuinely grateful that we came to this important realization: it doesn't have to be all or nothing. Step 10: Renting Instead of Buying Feeling the urge to find a home to buy immediately, rather than renting, can be a trap of "all or nothing" thinking. When we first considered moving to Italy, we focused on purchasing property because renting felt too complicated. However, we were looking at towns and areas that were unfamiliar to us, and we were hesitant to put down roots. After deciding to begin our journey in Italy in Puglia, we reached out to local friends for advice. A series of unexpected events led us to ask a friend to rent us a newly renovated house he had purchased. We initially stayed for a few weeks, then rented it for the summer, and eventually agreed to a 12-month lease. While we later purchased a home in Tuscany, that decision came naturally. We were happy to continue renting, but when the right house presented itself, we knew it was time to say "yes." Insights: Overcoming the "all or nothing" mindset is the first step toward turning your dream of living in Italy into reality. It doesn't have to be full-time, nor does it require an immediate purchase. These milestones can come with time, but they don't need to be part of your initial plan. A life in Italy is achievable and tailored to each individual's unique circumstances. More next time. My new novel is on sale now for $2.99! "Onward: A Life on a Sailboat" is a tale that will draw the reader to the Amalfi coast, the deserts of Algeria, the south of France, and beyond. https://a.co/d/3hhJkxE Amazon Italy- my book "Lei mi ha sedotto. Una storia d'amore con Roma": https://amzn.eu/d/13nuZCL .

PART 131: It might be interesting to share how we pulled off living in Italy for part of the year. I will post some steps and what we are learning along the way. We love every minute of it, and what was once a dream is our life! We live in Tuscany in the Fall, then back again in the Spring, and in California for the rest of the time (in a previous blog, I explained why we live in Italy only part of the year). Let's explore how we are finding ways to prevent rain from ruining our day at home in Tuscany, Italy. Step 1: As we explore areas in Italy, we discover some gems worth sharing. Some are well-known tourist magnets, and others are lesser known but always amazing. This week, instead of exploring a location or discussing home renovation experiences, let's focus on daily life in Italy. Does rain have to ruin our day? Step 2: When we flew to Italy to take possession of our house in Tuscany, we did not expect to encounter day after day of rain. We had researched the weather patterns in the Monte Amiata area before making our plans, but this winter turned out to be unusually wet. After a few weeks of spending rainy days inside our house or running errands for renovations, we decided to make the best of the situation and turn these gloomy days into a more positive experience. Step 3: Mindset change We didn't travel all the way to Italy to complain about the rainy weather. After experiencing many rainy days during the first few weeks after we took possession of our house, and complaining about the weather all the time, we realized we needed to change our mindset. We asked ourselves, "What enjoyable activities do we often overlook when the weather is nice?" Step 4: Extended daily activities We first asked ourselves what daily activities we could slow down and enjoy more on a rainy day. Our morning routines are pretty consistent: we start with daily training at the gym, followed by coffee at our favorite local café ( https://www.dabegname.it/ ). One morning at our local gym, my partner asked me, "It's raining today; why are we rushing through our workout?" He made a valid point. On clear days, we usually have field trips planned or errands to run, so we push through our training, but rainy days free us from the pressure to be somewhere at a specific time. As a result, we've turned rainy days into opportunities for a longer gym workout. This allows us to focus more, incorporate extra cardio, and complete additional sets. We love our local café and visit it every day. The staff is friendly and knows us as the "Californiani." We usually grab a coffee, sometimes a pastry, and then start our day. On rainy days, we started to linger longer, often having a second cup of coffee and enjoying each other's company while people-watching - more than we do on sunny days. Step 5: Special meals We usually cook at home or get take-out from a fantastic local tavola calda in our area. We rarely go to sit-down restaurants unless we have guests visiting. I suppose we're homebodies who enjoy having our meals in our wood-beamed kitchen in Arcidosso, Tuscany. However, rainy days feel special, so we've started dining at our favorite café in Santa Fiora for lunch and savoring the experience. Step 6: Exploring home improvement stores Some people love clothing stores, while others prefer browsing shoe stores or gourmet food shops. My partner and I really enjoy visiting home improvement stores to explore what's available and gather renovation ideas. On numerous rainy days, we've driven to Tecnomat (similar to our Home Depot) to look at tiles, shower setups, vanities, and spiral staircases. We also visit Ikea to check out their model rooms. There is also a very cool iron shop in Pienza that we love. Even if we only buy a lightbulb or a few placemats, browsing through a home improvement store or an independent craft shop without a specific agenda has become one of our favorite activities on rainy days. Local independent stores, whether selling tile or ironworks, are some of our favorite rainy day haunts. Step 7: Museums I absolutely love visiting museums! The Uffizi Gallery in Florence always calls to me, especially on rainy days. However, since it's a two-hour drive away, we haven't had the chance to visit it on a rainy day yet. Closer to home, we have our own castle in Arcidosso ( https://www.visittuscany.com/en/attractions/aldobrandesco-castle-of-arcidosso/ ) and the beautiful Abbey of Sant'Antimo, both of which we've enjoyed as options on those rainy days. Step 8: Reading or watching a movie On rainy days, after hitting the gym and enjoying breakfast, we sometimes prefer to stay at home. A warm cup of tea and a good book or movie allow us to escape the outside world and appreciate the cozy home we've been working hard to create. Step 9: In the comments, please leave your favorite rainy-day activities when you are in Italy. Insights: Changing our mindset was the first step in viewing rainy days in Italy as opportunities rather than setbacks. Once we reflected on activities we enjoy that don't depend on perfect weather, we discovered various enjoyable things to do that we might otherwise overlook. More next time. My new novel is on sale now for $2.99! "Onward: A Life on a Sailboat" is a tale that will draw the reader to the Amalfi coast, the deserts of Algeria, the south of France, and beyond. https://a.co/d/3hhJkxE Amazon Italy- my book "Lei mi ha sedotto. Una storia d'amore con Roma": https://amzn.eu/d/13nuZCL .