PART 62: It might be interesting to share how we pulled off living in Italy for part of the year. I will post some steps we took. We live in Puglia in the Summer and then back again in the winter. Step 1: Where? We underwent a discernment process when we decided to move to Italy 6 years ago. Where? In another blog, I traced our progression, but here, I want to state that we ruled out large cities at the beginning. Why? Because our plan was/is to live about half the year in Italy and the other half in California due to obligations back in the US. But we had to focus on areas we could afford to pull this off. Rome, Milan, and Turin were out of reach, so we concentrated on the smaller cities. We ended up in a town on the outskirts of Lecce with a population of less than 16,000. Step 2: Our smaller town. We chose our town because of our relationships: our friends in Rome live here whenever they are not working. They invited us to visit many times, and the area became familiar. We reflected on what was most important, and relationships won out. Our town is not a tourist destination but is a working-class town. Though there is a growing expat community, the locals primarily work in shops or small businesses and have lived in this area most of their lives. We have a historical center with lots of potential, and empty houses are beginning to be purchased and renovated. Others are waiting for a new owner. Every evening, I walk through our historical center, and I am grateful to be here. We are also near the sea and Nardo', Galatina and Lecce, so there is much to see and do nearby. Step 3: Life in Rome versus in a small town in Puglia. My stay in Italy began in the 1980s when I lived in Rome for eight years. I eventually returned to the US, started my career as an educator in Los Angeles, and retired in mid-June. By July 1, we were living here in Puglia. But how has the transition been from living in Rome to a small Puglian town? That is a difficult question for me to answer. So much of my life is intertwined with Rome that, when I am there, I feel at home like no other place in the world. In Rome, I can walk without a plan and agenda and come across street performers, a historic church, a museum, or a vista I have never seen before. Rome has so many layers, from ancient to the Renaissance and beyond. The city has an intensity that I love, and cultural expressions are everywhere. I can't count the number of times I have stumbled into a free concert, a unique art exhibition, or an exciting lecture. But my friends who live in Rome keep telling me that it is easy to visit Rome but tough to live there. Our town in Puglia doesn't have the cultural monuments found in Rome or other big cities. But it has an easier life, a calmer vibe, and a connectedness. "Perche' siete qui-why are you are?" locals ask us. I have to think before I respond, but now the answer is more effortless. "Because of our friends." They nod as if they understand at once. Rome and other cities are a train ride away, and I have come to appreciate our calm life here in Puglia compared to the beautiful intensity of the city, which we can visit when we get the impulse. Step 4: Downsides of small-town living? I don't know if I would call it a downside, but the two factors not outside our town's front door are street life and cultural monuments. When I was in Rome as a student, we would explore the streets and piazzas of the city, watching street performers and groups of tourists, searching out concerts, and enjoying the vibe of the incredible city. Our town in Puglia has no street life since it is not a tourist destination, and the cultural monuments are primarily in other areas. However, when we get the itch for street life (usually once a week or so), we hop in the car and find ourselves in Lecce, where one finds the more prominent city vibe and hundreds of people strolling and enjoying one another and the beautiful baroque city. When we get the itch for cultural monuments, we are just minutes away from the incredible frescoes in Galatina, the 1000-year-old cathedral floor in Otranto, or the 16th-century tower above Santa Caterina. Step 5: We don't feel that small-town living is depriving us of anything since we have local friends, a car, and the initiative to access cultural monuments, beautiful seasides, and local festivals, which are all within reach. Insights: Life in a smaller town in Italy can be as fulfilling and entertaining as living in a big European city if one has local friends, the initiative to seek out cultural events, and the opportunity to explore historical monuments. More next time. My book is "Stories from Puglia: Two Californians in Southern Italy." Amazon US: https://www.amazon.com/Stories-Puglia-Californians-Southern-Italy/dp/1913680649 . And also, on Amazon Italy: https://www.amazon.it/gp/product/1913680649/ref=dbs_a_def_rwt_bibl_vppi_i0 .

PART 63: It might be interesting to share how we pulled off living in Italy for part of the year. I will post some steps we took. We live in Puglia in the Summer and then back again in the wi nter. Step 1: We came to experience life in Italy and are discovering that we are being changed by living here. I want to reflect on how this is happening so far. Step 2: Planning and spontaneity I hate to admit it, but I am a planner to the extreme. It may come from 25 years as a classroom teacher, but I like to have everything lined up before I step into a situation. Always wanting to lock things in is not necessarily a negative quality, but it can become obsessive: I used to wake up, and the first thing to rush into my brain was the question, "What do I need to get done today?" Overplanning can take away the enjoyment of the moment, the acceptance of spontaneity, and the experience of gratitude. Some of our local friends in Puglia are not planners but live more in the moment. Last-minute invitations to the beach or for a pizza are standard; at first, the planner in me resisted. But little by little, the more laid-back Puglian life has seeped in, and we have experienced that the most unplanned moments tend to be the most beautiful. So, being in Puglia is helping us to be more open to what the day or moment may bring rather than feeling like we have to have every hour pre-planned and locked in. Step 3: Values and priorities Establishing a life in Puglia has provoked soul searching as we ask ourselves what is more important. Choosing where to live brought these questions to the surface, and we really had to travel a bit, reflect a lot, and discuss together what we are looking for here. Years ago, when we were looking for a place to settle in Italy, I visited a beautiful medieval town near Rome; I thought I had found the right place to establish our life. Stunning vistas, historical architecture, and charming streets make for an ideal-looking town. But after a day, I noticed what was missing: the town seemed deserted. Nobody was on the streets, no visible life, and few businesses were open. I realized that living there would be like a gilded cage. We wanted a more active lifestyle beyond watching TV or sipping wine on a terrace every evening. We wanted more. Moving to a dying Italian town because the housing was cheap wasn't a good fit for us. After that visit, we started reflecting on our connections in Italy and wondered if we could build on those. Step 4: Relationships We had/have a circle of friends in Rome, and some of these friends are teachers and are from Puglia. Every time school is out, they come down to southern Italy. We visited them several times in Puglia, and they came to California to visit us. During the pandemic, during a Zoom call, it dawned on us that these friends were like family. What do we want in Italy? Beautiful vistas, historical buildings, and great food are valid draws for life in Italy, but what was important to us? Spending time in Puglia has changed us because it has helped us sort through all the reasons we would want a life here and clarified that relationships are the most important thing for us. Sometimes, I can't remember where a beautiful church, building, or art exhibition was, but I remember the human encounters along the way. So our town in Puglia became the logical choice, where we already have a community of friends to share our lives with. Step 5: Horizons Europe is accessible from our place in Puglia, so our horizons have gotten bigger. "Do you want to go to Budapest?" my partner asked before we went last month. "Can we go to Ireland for a weekend in August?" he asked yesterday. It seems strange to be able to go to a unique European city for a weekend, but that is entirely doable here. So, our horizons have expanded, and we can easily experience a different culture, history, and people. We have become more aware and appreciative of the diversity of cultures and histories within our geographical area and beyond. Step 6: Dreamers and adventurers An unexpected result of our life in Italy is that we have met many interesting people on similar or parallel adventures. We realize it is easy to dream, but dreaming only brings results with action. "Oh, I wish I could do what you guys are doing!" we have heard repeatedly. But as we step out and make our dream a reality, others seem more open to looking at life in Italy as a real option. Maybe they think, "Well if these guys can pull it off, anyone could!" Along the way, we meet other adventurers living in Italy full or part-time. Whether from the UK, US, or other countries, each brings an exciting story and perspective. But we each have the same passion: a desire for a bigger life. So we experience a sense of camaraderie with those we are meeting as we encourage one another, share resources, and allow ourselves to be inspired. Insights: We didn't expect Italy to transform our daily life and ourselves, too. Deciding what is most important, discovering other cultures, and being open to the gift of every day are ways we are being changed. More next time. My book is "Stories from Puglia: Two Californians in Southern Italy." Amazon US: https://www.amazon.com/Stories-Puglia-Californians-Southern-Italy/dp/1913680649 . And also, on Amazon Italy: https://www.amazon.it/gp/product/1913680649/ref=dbs_a_def_rwt_bibl_vppi_i0 .

Our Italian Adventure: Questions about renting in Puglia PART 67: It might be interesting to share how we pulled off living in Italy for part of the year. I will post some steps we took. We live in Puglia in the summer and then back again in the winter. Step 1: I am getting questions about how we made living in Italy a reality; I will respond to some of these questions here. We will focus on how we found our lodging. Step 2: How did you find your apartment in Puglia? Through friends, online, or through an agent? It was a process for us to find our apartment in Puglia. First, we had to decide whether we wanted to rent or buy. Through research, soul searching, and discussion, we decided to take our Italian sojourn step by step and find a place to rent. We visited our area of Puglia several times (near Lecce) to spend time with our local friends, become familiar with the area, and get an idea of housing. Once we returned to California, we researched rental housing, finding several useful sites run by local real estate agents. We discovered two things through our research: Rental prices advertised on realtor websites seem higher than those quoted in person. Much is accomplished here in Puglia through word of mouth. We were due to start living in Italy in July, but it was December, and we still needed to figure out where we could live. So we planned a trip in January to spend a week in Puglia. A local friend had just finished renovating an apartment he had bought as an investment and invited us to stay at his place for that week. When we walked in, my partner and I looked at each other and said, "This is the place." After we had done tons of research, that is how we found our housing. We spoke to our friend about renting his place long-term and starting making arrangements to return in the summer. Step 3: Did you sign a long-term lease or just for the months you spend in Puglia? Everybody's situation is different, but in our case, this is how it unfolded: We rented for three months during the summer to see how it would go. We discussed it with our friend at the end of the three months and are now leasing for 12 months, even though we are there for part of the year. The monthly rent tends to be less, sometimes substantially less, when one rents for an entire year. Even though we are only living here three months at a time, the yearly cost for leasing for 12 rather than for two 3-month blocks is about the same. Since we are leasing from a friend, we don't have a formal signed lease; if we need one in the future, he will supply one. We record all payments and monies owed on a shared spreadsheet. Friends or not, it is better to keep all monies recorded and keep business as business. Step 4: With the 90 days in/ 90 days out, is your apartment in Italy rented out to other "short-term" tenants, or does it stay vacant while you're in California? We do not rent out our apartment when we are gone. Renting it to others wouldn't work for us since we want to secure our belongings and want to walk in when we return and start living. But we told our friend that should a family member or close friend need a place to stay when visiting him while we are in California, that is fine with us. He has a cleaning lady who tidies up afterward. Step 5: Are electricity and water bills included in the rent, or do those companies charge your account directly? Since we are following the 90/180 rule (living part in Italy and part in California), we decided, with our friend/landlord, to leave the energy and water bills in his name. He calculates usage costs, provides us with the bills, and we reimburse him for those expenses. That is the easiest way for all of us at this point. Step 6: Are there any extra costs/expenditures (apartment or living expenses) you were unaware of when you first decided to spend part of the year in Italy? Day-to-day expenses here in Puglia are less than in California. However, my credit card bill shot up during our first year living in two places. Why was it so high during those first months? The expenses weren't unforeseen, but setting up a second household necessitates extra expenses the first year. We needed to buy different clothes here for cold weather and supplies for the house, whether for the kitchen or bathroom. Step 7: Do you know your neighbors yet (if you have neighbors in the building or nearby)? We live in a 3-unit building, but the other two units are empty. But we are getting to know neighbors through the local businesses. We always exchange "good mornings" with the couple who sell us produce around the corner, our butcher, who dreams of traveling to California, and our local grocery store clerk, who keeps asking us, "Why are you here?" LOL. Everyone who works in businesses near us is a person, not just a worker, and as we show interest in them, they do the same. We are getting to know our neighbors in this way. Sometimes, we laugh when we tell them we are from California, and they swoon. It's like the land of dreams for them. Insights: Those who live in Italy full-time or part-time will have different paths and make decisions that fit their situation best. By sharing some of our lodging choices, others may see that this is entirely doable, that life is short, and that Italy awaits those who will take the step. More next time. My book is "Stories from Puglia: Two Californians in Southern Italy." Amazon US: https://www.amazon.com/Stories-Puglia-Californians-Southern-Italy/dp/1913680649 . And also, on Amazon Italy: https://www.amazon.it/gp/product/1913680649/ref=dbs_a_def_rwt_bibl_vppi_i0 .

PART 68: It might be interesting to share how we pulled off living in Italy for part of the year. I will post some steps we took. We live in Puglia in the summer and then back again in the winter. Step 1: How is living in Italy different from visiting as a tourist? Even though we are in Puglia for half the year (following the 90/180 rule), our experiences living and visiting are pretty different. Step 2: Visiting as a tourist. Before taking the step to live in Italy, we visited many times as tourists. Sometimes, the motivation was to experience the history and culture of this incredible country and other times; it was to spend time with our local friends. In both cases, we were in Italy for a limited time with a lot on our to-do/see lists. Some factors that characterize our experience in visiting an area as a tourist include: Pre-planning. Deciding on which sites and people to visit so we could make the most of our days in the country. Pre-booking. As our plans solidify, we pre-book our lodging as far as possible in advance to get the best places for the best prices—little room for spontaneity. Organizing our day. Since traveling to Europe is costly, and one never knows when or if one might return to a city or area, our days as tourists tend to be full. We bookmark a quiet dinner or a few hours at a beach with essential places to see or things to experience. Eating. When we visit an area as tourists, we want to experience the food without worrying about whether it is healthy. We dive in and EAT. Leisure time. On vacation, I don't want to be productive; I want to relax and sightsee without other concerns. Amazement. When we travel, we often feel a sense of amazement; everything we see is new, and some of the beauty, whether natural, like the Dolomites, or man-made, like the David, feels overwhelmingly wonderful. Step 3: Living in Italy. We are learning along the way, so we are not experts. But we are in our second year in Puglia (rather than just visiting for a few days), and the differences are starting to emerge. Pre-planning, pre-booking, and organizing. We have become more relaxed while living in Puglia and no longer feel the push to pre-plan, pre-book, or pre-organize everything. When we travel out of our area, sure, we pre-book and plan, but in Puglia, we have become more open to spontaneity, especially since our local friends are very spontaneous. Plus, we realize that we don't have to fit many activities into one day but enjoy what is in front of us. Healthy routines. When I travel for a few weeks, I usually neglect some healthy routines, like a proper diet and regular gym workouts. Taking a break from routine can be positive since one should experience new places and situations. But some bad habits crept in after we had lived in Puglia for some months; at a certain point, I realized that my breakfast consisted of a coffee and cornetto, lunch of a plate of pasta, and dinner of a slice of pizza. I knew that my long-term health required me to develop healthy routines in Puglia. I switched directions and took some time to reorganize my daily eating habits (I even wrote it down) and my gym training and other regular physical activities (hiking, etc.). Being productive. In California, I committed to writing daily, either to work on my new novel or a blog; since I retired from teaching, I usually devote 2-4 hours on weekdays to working on a writing piece. I take a break from writing while on vacation, but living in Puglia inspires me to capture some of our experiences or to imagine others. I don't write while on vacation, but while living in Puglia, I decided that I want to be productive but on a lighter schedule. Committing to an hour of writing on weekdays in the afternoon (after riposo) works for me and helps make the day not only fulfilling but also purposeful. Priorities. Living in Puglia is reshuffling our priorities, and we are finding that relationships have become more central. We still enjoy the cultural-historical sites, visiting new cities, and enjoying incredible panoramas. But we have also found that building on our friendships, as well as making new friends, has emerged as a priority. Travel amazement. Our amazement as we gaze at the 1000-year design on the cathedral floor in Otranto, the beautiful trulli in Alberobello, or the historical center in Bari hasn't changed. As we look out over the water at the setting sun in Santa Caterina, we still marvel at how lucky we are. Making every day special. We want to make the most of being in Puglia without being rigid about our schedule or healthy habits. We started taking several half-day field trips every week to explore our area and see what we could discover. Insights: Results. Visiting an area as a tourist or living there has different dynamics, and we are adjusting to this change. Prioritizing relationships, developing healthy habits, and making every day unique are some of the ways that we are transitioning from visiting to living in Puglia. More next time. My book is "Stories from Puglia: Two Californians in Southern Italy." Amazon US: https://www.amazon.com/Stories-Puglia-Californians-Southern-Italy/dp/1913680649 . And also, on Amazon Italy: https://www.amazon.it/gp/product/1913680649/ref=dbs_a_def_rwt_bibl_vppi_i0 .

PART 70: It might be interesting to share how we pulled off living in Italy for part of the year. I will post some steps we took. We live in Puglia in the Summer and then back again in the winter. Step 1: As we explore towns in Puglia, we discover some gems worth sharing. Some of these are well-known tourist magnets; others are lesser known but always amazing. This week, let's explore the cathedral in Nardó. Step 2: The first thing that strikes me when I walk into the cathedral in Nardó is the harmony between new and old, tradition and modernism. Ancient frescos are complemented by art nouveau-esque images, contemporary windows illuminate baroque altars and modern statues (side chapel) stand out from gold leaf decor. Many different ages and styles are reflected in the art and architecture of the cathedral in Nardó which, somehow, forms a unified whole. What is the story behind this combination of art and history? Step 3: Some history: Architecture. 7th century: The church of St. Mary of Neritorio was founded on the site by a group of Greek monks. 1088: A monastery was documented to have been at this site from this date, dedicated to Mary Assumed into Heaven. 1354: After an earthquake, the church facade was rebuilt, the nave was elongated, and side chapels were added. 1456 marked the year of another earthquake, and further modifications were made to strengthen the structure. 1725: The church's facade was rebuilt again, and the baptismal font and other areas of the church's interior were modified according to the style of the time. 1892-99: Another church restoration returned it to its classical style. Step 4: Some history: Artwork. 12th-14th century: Frescos dating back to the 12th century can be found throughout the church. The most noteworthy include St. Nicholas (14th century), St. Augustine (14th century), Christ the Creator (Cristo Pantocratore, 12th century), Madonna and Child (14th century), and Madonna of Health (Salute), dating from 1234. The wooden crucifix, called the "black Christ," dates from the 12th century. The art nouveau-esque style of paintings behind and beside the altar in the nave were painted between 1896 and 1899 by Cesare Maccari. Step 5: Why visit? Churches are everywhere in Italy; some are historical, some house beautiful artwork, others are centers of spirituality, and still others are important architectural monuments. Some have been well preserved, others have been badly renovated, and still others have been neglected. So what is so special about the cathedral in Nardó? The church has many elements and styles, from medieval to art nouveau-esque frescos, baroque altars to modern statuary. Somehow, the cathedral in Nardó brings all these elements together into a unified whole while preserving an atmosphere of peace and prayerfulness. The church is unique in that it keeps the old, honors the new, and invites the visitor to sit for a moment to not only look at the art but to experience the history and absorb a little bit of the spirit of this remarkable place. Insights: By scratching under the surface of some of the sites we visit in Puglia and returning to them a second and even third time, we are coming to appreciate the history and culture surrounding us, going beyond the first impressions. More next time. More next time. My book is "Stories from Puglia: Two Californians in Southern Italy." Amazon US: https://www.amazon.com/Stories-Puglia-Californians-Southern-Italy/dp/1913680649 . And also, on Amazon Italy: https://www.amazon.it/gp/product/1913680649/ref=dbs_a_def_rwt_bibl_vppi_i0 .

PART 69: It might be interesting to share how we pulled off living in Italy for part of the year. I will post some steps we took. We live in Puglia in the summer and then back again in the winter. But this may be changing. Step 1: Advantages of being in Puglia in the summer and winter. When we decided to live in Italy for half the year, we had to choose when. Following the Schengen zone guidelines, each stay is limited to 90 days so that we would be coming to Puglia twice a year. Choosing to be in Puglia during the summer made sense for several reasons: to escape the 115-degree (and higher) temperatures in the Palm Springs area, to make our time in Puglia coincide with the vacation schedules of local friends, and to be in Italy during excellent beach weather. Choosing Puglia in the winter made sense because it is off-season. We could explore the cathedral floor in Otranto without distractions, make a road trip to Amalfi (finding the coastal road mostly deserted), and enjoy the absence of tourists on our beaches and our favorite Puglian spots. Step 2: Disadvantages of the summer/winter model. We are in year 2 of our Puglia adventure and are rethinking this summer/winter model since we are experiencing some disadvantages. Some disadvantages of being in Puglia in the summer include the crowded beaches and coastal towns; the humidity plus the heat is more problematic to adjust to than the dry heat back in California; planning road trips when everyone else is traveling can become complicated, and international trips from Puglia are expensive because everyone else is traveling at the same time. As far as the disadvantages of being in Puglia in the winter, the humid cold is probably the most challenging, but this wasn't a big deal once we figured out our heater and got an electric blanket! Another disadvantage is that some towns are utterly dead in the off-season, with restaurants and cafes closed. Step 3: Clarifying goals. We paused to rethink some of our goals during our present stay in Puglia. These include cultivating friendships, becoming part of life in Puglia, international travel, new experiences, and learning a new culture. Clarifying our goals and reflecting on why we came here helps us refine our decisions about what type of experience we want in Puglia. Step 4: The new model: spring and fall. After much thought and discussion, we decided that, in the future, we will live in Puglia in the spring and fall. We realized that we could cultivate our local friendships without having the exact vacation schedules and that the mild weather of fall and spring would enhance our experience of living in Puglia. Step 5: Advantages of spring and fall. Some advantages of shifting our living in Puglia to spring and fall include more affordable travel experiences, fewer crowds, less traffic, milder weather, and more opportunities for new experiences. Insights. Our experience living in Puglia is organic in that we don't have it all figured out, but we are open to each step as it reveals itself. What worked for us last year may not work for this; our experience is evolving, and hopefully, so are we. Being open to what life in Puglia reveals is a path that works for us and helps us to move forward with serenity and gratitude. More next time. My book is "Stories from Puglia: Two Californians in Southern Italy." Amazon US: https://www.amazon.com/Stories-Puglia-Californians-Southern-Italy/dp/1913680649 . And also, on Amazon Italy: https://www.amazon.it/gp/product/1913680649/ref=dbs_a_def_rwt_bibl_vppi_i0 .

PART 71: It might be interesting to share how we pulled off living in Italy for part of the year. I will post some steps we took. We live in Puglia in the summer and then back again in the winter, and soon, we will be switching to spring and fall. This blog is a more personal post on how our experiences in Puglia and elsewhere come together for me when I write. Step 1: Why write? Writing is a way to reflect on my life experiences and make sense of them. If I am writing a piece of fiction, my characters strive to make sense of and find meaning in their experiences. It is as simple as that. I don't write for the market or a target audience. I write what is inside, express it, and put it out in the world. Hearing that one of my stories speaks to someone is rewarding. A best seller would be fantastic, but I don't need that to keep writing. If someone wants to sabotage their writing, they base their sense of self as a writer according to what others say and think or the number of copies sold. Writing for oneself is analogous to what an artist does who is breaking new ground. I always recommend other writers to be their own Van Gough. Step 2: How my writing career started. My writing career began when I did not intend to write a book. My life had changed so much since I had been in a Vatican seminary, lived in Rome for eight years, returned to California, and eventually switched my path completely. Life felt like a puzzle, with many pieces that didn't fit together. So, during my breaks at my school site, I started to write about arriving in Rome at age 19 and beginning the road to the priesthood. I continued that narrative through personal struggles, coming to terms with being gay, figuring out how humanity and spirituality could be harmonious rather than in conflict, and discovering where I could find a sense of happiness and fulfillment. I wrote this draft to make sense of my life; when I showed it to my sister she said, "This is good, Mark; this is really good. You should see if you can get it published." I didn't think anyone would be interested in a story that began in the Vatican and ended up in California, but I sent the draft to a few publishers. A few weeks later, Chicago Review Press contracted me to publish the book. That is how it started. Though the circumstances of my life as narrated in the book are unique (seminary life, etc.), I discovered that the themes and issues I dealt with are shared by many. The book has gotten great reviews, and a few years ago, CNN made an animated short based on the story. Step 3: Problems encountered while writing. An event, person, or place must inspire me to write effectively. When I can't think of anything to write, I just let it go and focus on living life. Inevitably, after some days, weeks, or months, something happens, the narrative picks up, and I continue writing. A story or book often writes itself in my head before I start typing. It is hard to explain, but since I am a visual thinker, I usually see scenes from a story play out in my imagination. When I get in front of the computer, I write down, as best as I can, what I "see." If the images stop, I pause the writing and do more research if it is a historical story, and more living if it is not. I am very self-critical, so one strategy that helps me to keep writing is to only look at what I have written once I complete the entire piece. For example, as I researched and wrote each chapter of my recent book about Puglia, I only looked back to see what I had written once the first draft of the entire book was completed. Editing should come after, not during. Step 4: Problems encountered in trying to get published. I have published eight books, worked with three publishing houses, and self-published a few. The problems getting published are endless. First, major publishers will only look at a proposal if a literary agent presents it. Though I am a prolific writer, and some of my books have done very well, I gave up on finding a literary agent years ago. Now, I target small or mid-sized publishers who do not require an intermediary. My current publisher, Dixi Books, is based in London and is a smaller publisher with a good distribution network in Europe and a developing one elsewhere. The upside of working with smaller publishers is that the writer gets to work directly with the owner and has much say about the book, cover, etc. The downside is that the writer must do most of the work, from marketing to editing. Smaller publishing companies do not have the staff to do the footwork. Self-publishing is coming into its own, with some impressive success stories. But the downside is that most bookstores will not carry self-published books, and the only way to sell a self-published book is to use all of one's energies to make it known. Step 5: Dealing with positive and negative reviews. Writing a book is like putting your child out into the world and hoping they will be treated well by everyone, without having control over the actions or opinions of others. Any book will have a balance of positive and negative reviews; some may like my writing, and others not. I have read books on the New York Times best sellers list and have been unable to finish them because I didn't like the writing, the plot, the story, or any number of things. So, my writing may speak to some but rarely to all. Negative reviews can be hard to stomach, but writers must put on their big boy pants and move on. When I got a very negative review of my book, "She Seduced Me: A Love Affair from Rome," from a reviewer who confessed that he hates Rome and was offended by any references to church history in the narrative, I scratched my head and thought "so why write a review?" A lifelong writer has to let these things go. I write to make sense of life, and if it helps someone do the same, all the better. Good or bad reviews are less critical than writing with a purpose. Step 6: How our time living in Italy impacts my writing. Living in Italy is often the bread and butter of my writing because living in another culture gives me perspective on my world. I get to meet new and fascinating people, hear about the thoughts and dreams of others, or observe the way people we meet from different backgrounds and cultures live their lives and navigate through their sense of fulfillment, happiness, and meaning. Besides the people, the history found in Italy brings the past alive. I have a big imagination, and it only takes a hike up to one of the 16th-century towers in Salento for me to touch the stone and visualize the soldier sending signals to the next tower that pirates have been sighted on the horizon, that an invasion may be imminent and that one's life would depend on how fast the community could mobilize. I imagine soldiers jumping on their horses to warn the townspeople, and the population fleeing to the hills to hide; thus, a story is born. I could go on and on, but it is all summed up in the affirmation: Yes, living in Italy generates new stories from the past and present that invite me to write them down and share. I hope this story continues. More next time. My book is "Stories from Puglia: Two Californians in Southern Italy." Amazon US: https://www.amazon.com/Stories-Puglia-Californians-Southern-Italy/dp/1913680649 . And also, on Amazon Italy: https://www.amazon.it/gp/product/1913680649/ref=dbs_a_def_rwt_bibl_vppi_i0 .

PART 72: It might be interesting to share how we pulled off living in Italy for part of the year. I will post some steps we took. We live in Puglia in the summer and then back again in the winter, but soon to change to spring/fall. This blog is a more personal post. Step 1: Self-Care A healthy sense of taking care of myself was a skill that I had to learn. Growing up in a challenging family situation influenced me to care for others while (sort of) ignoring myself. I brought this attitude into relationships, often finding myself doing for others what they could do for themselves. Experience taught me that self-care is not selfishness and that the basis of a healthy love for others is a balanced love of oneself. In adulthood, I gradually learned to mind my own business while seeking my happiness and allowing others to pursue theirs. Step 2: Levels Self-care has three levels, which I used to communicate with my educators when I worked as a teacher mentor. These three levels include the physical, emotional, and spiritual. Let's explore these levels in Puglia and California. Step 3: Physical. Physical self-care, to me, refers to my relationship with my body. How I eat, organize my day, exercise, and choose my lifestyle are all part of my physical well-being. Exercise: I was in my thirties when I started going to the gym. My initial motivation was survival: I was constantly getting sick, always on antibiotics, and could never seem to attain a sense of stable health. I was thin, tired, and worn out most of the time. Then, I stepped into a gym, connected with the right people, made a decision, and remained consistent with my training over the past three decades. When we came to Puglia, I was determined to keep my fitness program going, so on the day after we arrived, we found a local gym, established a rapport, joined, and became part of our gym family. As stated in another post (Fitness in Puglia), I had to learn flexibility because of the different opening hours and ways of accommodating others at the gym. When I go on a road trip or travel, it is more challenging to go to the gym for a few days or a week, so I give myself a break rather than stress over it and look for opportunities to hike or walk. Diet: When I first started training, I became aware of what I was eating. Fast food and grabbing a bite had to give way to something healthier, so I soon developed an eating routine that included high protein, lots of fruits and vegetables, and minimum junk food and sweets. I had this down to a science until we moved to Puglia. During our first extended stay in Puglia (we are following the 90/180 rule), my mentality was that I was following the Mediterranean diet if I ate whatever I felt like while in the Mediterranean! So, after our first three months in Italy, on our return to California, I realized that I was eating about 90% carbs all of the time. Pastries for breakfast, pasta for lunch, and pizza for dinner had become a habit. But this would not work for a healthy lifestyle. Something had to change. Since I am a visual thinker, I need to see something for it to stay in my mind. So, I set myself the task of working out my diet on paper. Drawing on past healthy eating routines, I set up an eating schedule independent of what I felt like. It is not a rigid schedule and is open to exceptions. Still, some of the things I came up with include eating a healthy breakfast before going out to coffee in the morning (so I am not missing the cornetto), building a rapport with our butcher, who already knows that I want sliced chicken breast when he sees me walk in; planning out our dinners for the week, which we have kept as our main meal; integrating all the great produce available into our diet each day, and going to the market often rather than buying perishables for the entire week. These past 90 days, we ate much healthier because of a bit of planning and attention. Step 4: Emotional: When I think "emotional," I think about relationships. Fortunately, I have an excellent partner in a stable and committed relationship who shares my interest in travel and curiosity about the world. But one's emotional side/needs also include other relationships with oneself, one's family, and friends. We will explore a couple of these. Oneself. It may seem weird to say that I have a relationship with myself, but this mindset helps guide me into a healthier attitude. For example, I can be self-critical, whether it be about my actions, abilities, or personality. It is easy for me to beat myself up over mistakes, flaws, or whatever. But a question that helps me reframe my thinking is: "Would I treat my best friends like that?" So if I drop a plate and it shatters, would I tell my best friend how clumsy they are? So why am I telling myself that? If I say something I regret and repeat to myself six months later how stupid I am, would I call a friend stupid? If I am not good enough, skilled enough, or smart enough, would I call my best friend evil, dorky or dumb? So why am I treating myself like that? So, having a good relationship with oneself means treating oneself as one's own best friend. Friendships. Taking care of oneself on an emotional level also involves others. It means realizing that there are different types of friendships, that some are for a season and others for a lifetime and that they always include sharing of oneself and not just one's activities. I have some friendships that go back decades, which I am incredibly grateful for. But I must continue cultivating historical friendships since, as I explored in another blog (Migratory Living), a friendship that is not cared for can fade over time. So when we are in Puglia, I nourish my distant friendships and avoid only sending photos of the latest thing we did that day. Our life in Italy is in its second year, so our local friendships are newer and evolving. We have some historical friendships with a few who live in both Rome and Puglia, and these have been pivotal in both our decision to come to this part of Italy and our feeling at home here. But we have recently met other locals, including expats, Puglians from birth, and others who live here part-time. We have found all of them friendly and open to friendship. What is fascinating about the expats we have met is that we all share the same quality: we seek a bigger life. The 9-5 job, weekend errands, and two weeks a year vacation routine don't work for us. We want more; we want to act and not just dream, so here we are! Ever since we began living in Italy, we have been meeting the most interesting people and potential friends. Step 5: Spiritual: Each individual's spiritual side will differ, so I can only speak to my experience. Taking care of my spiritual side boils down to one word: gratitude. By nature, I am a planner and controller and tend not to like the unknown. After years of waking up with to-do lists, goals, and fears for the day, I realized that I wanted another type of daily life, no longer to be ruled by planning and fearfulness. Over a decade ago, a friend told me: "I do a gratitude list. When I get stressed or distracted, I write down ten things I am grateful for; I do this every day for ten days. At the end of it, my attitude changed. I challenge you to do it." I took the challenge, and at the end of ten days, I found myself less focused on what "could be" and more on what I had been given. I have kept this practice beyond the ten days and start and end each day with a reflection on what I am grateful for. Beyond this, I have certain spiritual practices that work for me. Sometimes, if I am feeling empty or running on fumes, I need to multiply these; other times, I can be more relaxed. But I am aware of my spirit, so I can pause and care for myself. Some of the spiritual practices that work for me include hiking up a hilltop alone (Santa Caterina!), taking a quiet walk through the historical center of our town in the evening, stopping and meditating inside an empty church, gazing at a painting of a heroic life or looking up at the stars and saying "thank you." Everyone is different. I always encouraged my students to find ways to take care of the three components of their personalities. Insights: Taking care of oneself physically, emotionally, and spiritually are three components that I have needed to work on here in Puglia, but the effort is bearing fruit with a sense of peace and gratitude. More next time. My book is "Stories from Puglia: Two Californians in Southern Italy." Amazon US: https://www.amazon.com/Stories-Puglia-Californians-Southern-Italy/dp/1913680649 . And also, on Amazon Italy: https://www.amazon.it/gp/product/1913680649/ref=dbs_a_def_rwt_bibl_vppi_i0 .

PART 73: It might be interesting to share how we pulled off living in Italy for part of the year. I will post some steps we took. We live in Puglia in the spring and then back again in the fall. Step 1: I think of myself as a spontaneous adventurer, ready to dive into any new situation and discover what it will bring. But, in reality, I like certain routines, and breakfast (colazione) in Puglia is one of them. So, through trial and error, we have found the best breakfast place "for us". Come with us. Step 2: Criteria. Starting on the right note can set the tone for the entire day. Before getting out of bed, I take a moment to think of all the things and people I am grateful for. But once we are up, what next? We want to take full advantage of being in Puglia, so we were determined to start our day with a uniquely Puglian experience. Through trial and error, we found the perfect cafe that fits the following criteria: great coffee, warm relationships, a unique location, and the right atmosphere. Step 3: The coffee. I like coffee that I can sip and enjoy for a long time, so expresso doesn't work for me. I don't want to look forward to that cup and finish it in 2 seconds. I used to drink cappuccinos in the mornings in Italy. I still like my occasional cappuccino, but under the influence of my partner, I now find myself ordering an Americano. The type of Americano that I like is strong, not too diluted, and mixed by the barista (rather than handing me an expresso with hot water on the side). I also like it with hot steamed milk, piping hot and creamy. We have found a few cafes that make great Americanos, one of which can be found at our favorite cafe. Step 4: The relationships. People who work at cafes are not machines but people who have jobs or own businesses. The "people" aspect is essential to us, and I want to frequent and support businesses that have relationships with their customers. When we started coming to our perfect cafe, we noted that the owners, managers, and workers are young, dynamic, friendly, and have a good vibe with their customers. Once this place became our daily stop, our relationships at the cafe grew and became an important component of our life in Puglia. As I wrote in another blog, we realized that relationships are central, which rings true at our cafe. Step 5: Location. So many things make up this magical land: its history, baroque architecture, olive groves, beautiful beaches, clear blue waters, fishing boats, kind people, and more. Where we begin our day is important. We used to have our coffee in a dark cafe near our house, but now our perfect cafe is on a beach with a view of the Ionian sea. Every day, as we sip our Americanos, we ask one another, "Can you believe we are here?" That is the way we want to start our day. Step 6: Atmosphere. Outdoor seating is essential to our perfect cafe since Puglia is about the views, the light, and the life swirling around us. A quiet atmosphere is also important, with low or no background music and enough tables to sit a group. Sometimes, we go for coffee and become a group of eight or nine. Insights: Through trial and error, we found the perfect place to start our day here in Puglia. Our perfect place is called Momento, in Santa Caterina, not far from Nardo'. https://www.facebook.com/momentosantacaterina Do you have a perfect place where you start your day? More next time. My book is "Stories from Puglia: Two Californians in Southern Italy." Amazon US: https://www.amazon.com/Stories-Puglia-Californians-Southern-Italy/dp/1913680649 . And also, on Amazon Italy: https://www.amazon.it/gp/product/1913680649/ref=dbs_a_def_rwt_bibl_vppi_i0 .

PART 74: It might be interesting to share how we pulled off living in Italy for part of the year. I will post some steps we took. We live in Puglia in the summer and then back again in the winter, but soon, we will switch to spring and fall. Step 1: As we explore towns in Puglia, we discover some fascinating stories behind what we see. Sometimes, it is a building; other times, it is a piece of art. This week, we will travel to Trani. Come with us. Step 2: Reputation. Our first introduction to Trani was a road trip with some local friends. As we approached the town, the local stories emerged and piqued our interest. Our Puglian friend recounted the reputation that Trani had in the past in the area of sexuality. According to our local friend, the distinction between gay and straight was more blurred, and Trani was known for being an area of tolerance. "There is even a legend that the fishermen of Trani were very popular with visitors," he added. Of course, we wanted to know more; in fact, we told our friend to drive us down to the marina so we could see for ourselves! He laughed and said that this is history and Trani was popular when being gay was taboo decades ago. We sank back in our seats. But there was a different reason we journeyed to Trani. Our friend promised we would see something that would blow our socks off. Step 3: The sight. We parked, walked down a street, turned a corner, and looked up. My breath stopped, my heart missed a beat, and my mouth hung open. We were gazing at Trani Cathedral. I don't know what was more beautiful: the Romanesque church, begun in 1099, or its juxtaposition to the sea. The combination of the architecture and the grandeur of nature made it a breathtaking sight. Step 4: The story. Before entering the church, our friend sat us down to recount the tale of St. Nicholas the Pilgrim, to whom the church is dedicated. I capture this story in my book on Puglia but here I will share some elements. The intriguing part for me is that Nicholas the Pilgrim was a homeless man with many family and personal problems. He probably suffered from Tourette syndrome, which can compel one to either repeat a word or phrase over and over or result in an uncontrollable twitch. Misunderstood, persecuted, and beaten, Nicholas was eventually turned out by his family and wandered the roads of Magna Grecia. At a certain point, he decided that he must go to Rome on a pilgrimage, but on the way, Nicholas was persecuted and beaten by some church leaders to the extent that he was bleeding and losing strength. He made it as far as Trani, and then, on the steps of a church previously on that spot, he collapsed. The bishop came out to help him, but Nicholas died in his arms. Besides the tragic circumstances of his life, Nicholas became known for his lively faith, compassion, empathy, and outspokenness. Step 5: Why the story is important. The story of Nicholas brought Trani alive for me because the town chose to honor this man, whom others may have seen as a loser, as their patron saint. The church in his honor gives meaning to his life and shows that the citizens of Trani saw greatness where others saw only weakness; they saw that human dignity is not measured by what one may or may not accomplish but rather by the person that one is, by one’s character. Insights: Visiting Trani helped us understand Puglia in a new way because the church's greatness compared with the humble man it honors reveals something of the character of this land and people. More next time. Now on sale for $2.99: Stories from Puglia: Two Californians in Southern Italy https://a.co/d/fAE3q0B And also, on Amazon Italy: https://www.amazon.it/gp/product/1913680649/ref=dbs_a_def_rwt_bibl_vppi_i0 .

PART 76: It might be interesting to share how we pulled off living in Italy for part of the year. I will post some steps we took. We live in Puglia in the summer and then back again in the winter; we will soon switch to spring and fall. Step 1: As we explore towns in Puglia, we discover some gems worth sharing. Some of these are well-known tourist magnets; others are lesser known but always amazing. This week, let's explore Monopoli and Polignano. Step 2: History. "Go to Monopoli! It is worth it!" our local Puglian friends urged us last summer. "And visit Polignano too!" "But it's such a long drive!" I whined. "It is worth it. Go. It is beautiful," he replied. But we kept putting it off. Finally, on a lazy weekend in February, we decided to make the drive. Monopoli was chilly and amazing. What was so interesting was that it is both a vibrant town with an awe-inspiring coastline and an incredible historical center. The absence of tourists added drama to the vistas. But what about the history of the town? Monopoli: "Mono Polis" means "unique city" or "only city," and Monopoli is just that. The town dates back to about 500 BC. Jumping ahead to the era of the Roman empire, Emperor Trajan had the vital road Via Traiana built between 108 and 110 AD, which connected the city to the rest of the empire. After the fall of Rome, Monopoli was inhabited by Byzantines, Normans, and others. It eventually became a critical launching port during the Crusades and, in the 1400s, was under Venetian control; it then passed to the Spanish crown in the 1500s. Why is any of this important or even interesting? Because the historical context gives meaning to some of the important buildings in Monopoli: the castle of Charles V (1525), the castle and monastery of St. Stephen (1086), Jerusalem Hospital (1350), and the 18th-century cathedral and Palazzo Palmieri. But face it, we come to Monopoli primarily for the vistas on the Adriatic. Step 3: Sights Basilica of the Madonna della Madia. A cathedral can give a glimpse into the life and culture of a people, and the same is true in Monopoli. This cathedral is bathed in fantastic legends and stories, connecting construction, funding, and engineering problems with faith. The story is that the builders ran out of beams to complete the roof's construction, so the work was halted. Years passed, and then as if by miracle, a wooden raft floated to the shore, which contained an icon of the Madonna and a pile of wooden beams. The beams on the raft were the exact number needed to complete the construction. So, the building was resumed and completed. In the 1700s, the original building was mostly demolished, and the basilica we see today was erected. We were struck by the baroque feast of color, stone, and light when we stepped inside, celebrating the story of the cathedral's origins and the Madonna who watches over the city. It is very cool. The Castle of Charles V Even though the castle was closed the day we went (it is used as an exhibition hall), the location, history, and architecture were worth it. I put my hand on the stone wall, wondering who may have touched that place in the 16th century. The castle is located near the old port and was used to defend the city against pirates; then, the Spanish took it over and used the castle to house soldiers and their families. Afterward, the castle was then used as a prison until the 1990s. Beaches. Since we went in the winter, the beaches were more about vistas than frolicking on the sand. But Monopoli and the area around it have beautiful beaches. As we gazed along the shoreline, we noticed a group of young adults who walked out onto the beach, slipped off their clothes to their bathing suits, and jumped into the cold water. The seemed to be having a blast. Step 4: Cool things. Walking without a goal. Strolling is an essential activity in Monopoli. Wandering through the historical center, in and out of alleys and small streets, along the coast and further inland, one discovers public art, small cafes', beautiful architecture, and incredible vistas out to the sea. Visit Polignano. Traveling to Poligignano is only a 15-minute drive from Monopoli. It is smaller, more compact, and has its particular type of beauty. My partner preferred Monopoli, but I liked Polignano more. Both were beautiful, and each had a different "vibe." Go to both. Insights: Exploring Puglia, taking the advice of locals, and being willing to not stick to our own plans all of the time is enabling us to discover beautiful towns, buildings, and people that were not on our radar before. We are very grateful. More next time. "Stories from Puglia": On sale now for $2.99: https://a.co/d/eqBqn5j . And also, on Amazon Italy: https://www.amazon.it/gp/product/1913680649/ref=dbs_a_def_rwt_bibl_vppi_i0 .

PART 75: It might be interesting to share how we pulled off living in Italy for part of the year. I will post some steps we took. We live in Puglia in the summer and then back again in the winter, but soon to be spring and fall. Step 1: Priorities. The decision-making process of establishing a life in Puglia required us to clarify our priorities. It would be much easier to remain in California and continue the calm and tranquil life that we established. Life in Palm Springs is much less stressful than in Los Angeles, where I lived and worked until recently. But the question kept arising: is calm and peaceful enough? What we wanted out of life was a question we couldn't escape, so we went on a quest to understand our priorities. So far, we have come up with these priorities: Step 2: Priority of relationships. Investing in our relationships in California and Puglia. Establishing a base in Europe that would become like home, I wanted something other than a nomad lifestyle. Exploration and travel to areas we have never been to. Coming to understand and also assimilate another culture and language (Italian). Grow, let the experience transform us, and have a bigger life. Step 3: Priorities and the News. Until we moved to Puglia, I was a newsie. I felt like I had to keep up with every political or social event during the day to ensure the world wasn't falling apart! I didn't have much peace of mind during that period. Being in Puglia and so distant from the day-to-day churning of news has diminished my desire to follow the news so closely. When we return to California, I look at news website headlines to get the gist of what is happening rather than watch hours of news. Don't get me wrong; I am not advocating ignoring current events and giving power to those who abuse it. I am an avid voter, but Puglia has changed what I am willing to fill my mind with every day. Living here shows me what I have power over: my own life. Step 4: Take nothing for granted. I am grateful for my 25 years as a high school teacher because the students have taught me so much. I remember a day when I felt burdened by personal challenges and school politics. I was withdrawn and brooding that morning when I walked into the school. After I signed in, I walked in front of a group of special needs students in wheelchairs; they were 15 or 16 years old, smiling and chatting with one of their teachers. I continued to my classroom, but the image of those kids remained in my mind. Every day was a challenge for them. Though the challenges I was going through remained, those faced by others gave me perspective and reminded me that even the everyday things, like health or the use of my limbs, are gifts. Somehow, my problems diminished. Being able to live in Puglia, even for part of the year; being able to use it as a base as we explore other areas of Europe; being able to swim in the sea, climb mountains, or ride a bike through the countryside are all gifts that I do not want to take for granted. Puglia is showing me that gratitude is a matter of perspective. Step 5: Spontaneity. I have to admit it: I like a plan. When my partner springs an idea on me, like, "Hey, would you like to hop in the car and drive to so and so," my response is usually like "No." I know I don't like spontaneity, but Puglia is changing this. Some of our local friends in Puglia are not planners but steer their lives with a more spur-of-the-moment attitude. At first, I resisted, but when we started accepting some spontaneous dinner invitations or road trips, we realized that these ended up being some of the most beautiful experiences that we have had there. So spontaneity can be a gift, and I am learning to be more open to what is beyond my plans, even while back in California. Insights: Without a project or plan, our time in Puglia transforms our life in California. A new sense of gratitude, a changing set of priorities, and a sense of purpose and meaning in our daily lives are gifts from our time in this magical place. More next time. Now on sale for $2.99: Stories from Puglia: Two Californians in Southern Italy https://a.co/d/fAE3q0B And also, on Amazon Italy: https://www.amazon.it/gp/product/1913680649/ref=dbs_a_def_rwt_bibl_vppi_i0 .