How we moved to Italy. The Podcast It might be interesting to share how we pulled off living in Italy for part of the year. I will post some steps we took. We are in Puglia in the summer and then back again in the winter. Step 1: This is an out-of-sync blog post, which is more of an announcement than a blog. Step 2: If you are a podcast listener and are interested in how travel, research, and writing can result in a blog post or historical novel, please tune in. The episode with my interview was released today by the #Badasswriters Podcast. Step 3: In the podcast, I discuss my forthcoming book (Stories from Puglia: Two Californians in Southern Italy) and books in other genres. We then explore the writing process and how an encounter can generate an idea that blossoms into a story. We also reflect on lessons learned from living in Italy. Please give a listen: https://anchor.fm/kathleen-foxx/ In the meantime, Happy Holidays Merry Christmas Buon Natale!

How we moved to Italy. Making Friends in Italy PART 25: It might be interesting to share how we pulled off living in Italy for part of the year. I will post some steps we took. We are in Puglia in the summer and then back again in the winter. Step 1: When we decided to live in Italy, we realized that it would never feel like home unless we developed meaningful relationships with others who call that place home. Coming as a tourist versus calling Italy home, even for part of the year, are two different experiences and require different approaches. Step 2: There is no formula for making friends. Sometimes it is a matter of chance, shared interests, history, or chemistry. But I do want to share a few factors that are enabling us to develop friendships which are like family here. These factors include language, culture, openness, and risk. Step 3: Language. There is no way around it; developing significant relationships without a common language is impossible. And I will go further: if one lives in Italy and does not learn to speak and understand Italian, one will always be the outsider, the foreigner, the visitor. In a previous blog, we explored the why and how of learning Italian, so I will only repeat some of that here. Learning the language is not only a communication tool, but the very structure of words and phrases can give a different cultural understanding of the world than the one I carry with me. The benefit is that I learn to see the world differently, judge less, and experience more. Some of us struggle to learn Italian because we are trying to use a learning method that doesn't work for us. If I am a visual learner, I need more than listening to tapes. If I am a kinesthetic learner, watching Italian videos won't work. If I am not a disciplined learner, studying the language only when I feel like it won't work. So I need to determine which type of learner I am and adopt the appropriate method. For me, though it is a hassle, I learn best in a classroom setting with deadlines and assignments. I wish I weren't like that, but it is what it is, and if I want to learn best, I find a class to take. Step 4: Culture. We've seen it; maybe we have done it. The "Ugly American" (or from another country), who has one cultural perspective and disdains all others, casting judgments everywhere. I have to confess that I have been there. When I first lived in Italy in college, I remember complaining to my American expat buddies about the practices of shopping at multiple stores to buy groceries rather than just going to a supermarket, like us. "It would save so much time!" I complained. I still needed cultural awareness to see the benefits of a different way to shop for food. I was 18. The expectation that other cultures and peoples think or do things in the same way as my own culture can prevent me from expanding my understanding of the world. But how do I become more open to cultural differences? After all, I have my cultural background, and I can't get away from that. It boils down to attitude. If I believe that I always know best (how to do or accomplish something, for example), I will find living in another culture challenging. But if I adopt the attitude that different ways of doing things (cultural differences) make humanity interesting, I can become more open. Living in another culture challenges my preconceptions and points of view that I bring from my world. I can learn to see multiple perspectives on education, values, the pace of life, and deadlines. I can become richer. Or, I can complain. The choice is mine. Step 5: Openness. "The United States is the greatest country in the world." This phrase is a mantra we hear from politicians, and I've listened to it at school since I was in first grade. We are often educated to view the world through a lens of superiority, which can prevent us from being open to other perspectives. Since I am an educator (just retired), I have always taught history from the perspective of travel. "When you go to Rome, you will see where this took place…in Paris, when you go, the Bastille is no longer standing, but you can find where these events took place…" Travel can breed understanding and lead to wisdom. If I travel with openness, I see that there are many great cultures, histories, and countries; these give rise to different ways of accomplishing the same goal that may even be more effective than my own. The choice is mine: Do I travel to learn? Learning requires openness. Or do I travel to judge? Step 6: Risk. The direction of my life changed when I agreed to have a coffee in Rome with someone I did not know. I met a Roman man with similar interests; over coffee, he offered to show me a beautiful town outside Rome. I sat there thinking: this is a risk. I can keep going with my day and politely say no. Or I can size up the situation, be clear about expectations with this person and decide if I can trust him. After these steps, I had a choice. Choice involves risk. This time, I took that risk. What happened is that a story of friendship blossomed; this initial meeting took place 13 years ago, and since then, I have made other friends with this friend. Some of them were from Puglia. Over time, I got into a beautiful relationship in California, and he, my partner, also became part of our Italian friendship. Years later, this unforeseen series of events led us to establish our life in Puglia. I am not saying to take unreasonable risks and to put oneself in a position to be taken advantage of. Common sense, sizing up the situation, and getting a feel for others are all involved in discerning whether trust is warranted. But stepping out of my comfort zone can also expand my horizons and my world experience. Insights: There is no formula for making friendships with locals in Italy, but what has worked for me thus far include: language, culture, openness, and risk. I hope our friendships continue growing as we sink roots in this beautiful place. After all, in the end, relationships are what matter most. Watch for my book coming around the 1st of the year: "Stories from Puglia: Two Californians in Southern Italy." ( https://www.bookdepository.com/Stories-from-Puglia-Mark-Tedesco/9781913680640?ref=grid-view&qid=1672597384274&sr=1-1 ) More next time.

PART 26: It might be interesting to share how we pulled off living in Italy for part of the year. I will post some steps we took. We are in Puglia in the summer and then back again in the winter. Step 1: Since we have decided, at least for now, to live in Puglia, Italy, for about half of the year and in California for the other half, how can we navigate keeping and cultivating our friendships in both places? What happens if we are in one country, and a friend or relative in the other region passes away, gets married, or gets sick? How do we respond to friends who ask, "Can we come to visit you?" Step 2: Making friends: Please see last week's post on making local friends. Hint: Language, Openness, Risk, Culture. Step 3: Keeping friends. Many years ago, a friend said that "friendships are like investments. They require time and energy to get a return." I like to think of friendships like houseplants; they need care to grow. Having friends in two countries requires more attention. While in Italy: I used to bombard my friends back in California with photos of our incredible time in Italy. When some didn't respond to my photo albums, I sent more. It took me a while to realize that only some people want to follow our Italian adventures from afar. Not everyone wants to be constantly reminded that we are living in Italy while they are living their own lives back in the US. So now I only share photos with the few who ask. Keeping up with friendships with the same consistency as back in California works for me. If I chat with a friend once a week, I keep the same routine no matter where I am. Keeping the focus on friendship rather than what I did that day is also essential. I want to hear what is going on in my friends' lives rather than simply blabbing about our latest European adventures. Friendship is a give and take, and the intimacy of a quality friendship can become dominated by a monologue about what we are doing in Italy if I am not attentive. Friends can talk about feelings as well as thoughts, insights as well as events and struggles as well as adventures. I am striving to keep this in mind, to keep friendship at the center. While in California: Sometimes, after 90 days in Italy, returning to California seems like going to a different planet. We immediately become absorbed in life there. Work, errands, house, writing, local friends, sports, gym, food prep, yard work; you name it. But neglecting our friendships in Italy and separating our lives in Puglia and California into two different worlds can diminish our experience. Keeping up with and deepening our Italian friendships while we are in California is still a work in progress, but we connect weekly, even to say, "Ciao, I am thinking of you." We also sometimes do group Zoom calls, which feel more personal than a text or phone call. We also have a policy of "our house is your house" with our friends in Italy, and some have already come to stay with us. Our goal is to deepen our friendships in Italy to the point that they are family. We are learning how to do this day by day. Step 4: Hospitality for friends. You have heard it, as we have. "I want to come to Italy while you are there." Friends visiting us in Puglia is beautiful, and we encourage them to come to visit. But what about boundaries? Through trial and error, we have learned to set expectations for friends who want to visit us. Yours will be different, but these are ours: Happy: We are delighted you are coming and can explore Puglia with us and on your own. Housing: We are not set up for house guests, so please rent a place in or near our town. We can give you some leads. Car: We are renting a small car, so we are not set up to bring guests around. We can help you find a rental. Independence: Some days, we have obligations, so please feel free to be independent. We can provide a prepared sightseeing list, with suggestions and addresses. We have found that welcoming friends while maintaining some independence works best for both parties. Step 4: Emergencies. Setting expectations. It happens: somebody is born, somebody passes away, and somebody is getting married. What do I do in Italy when this happens in California, or vice versa? Each one will need to come up with their responses to these and other scenarios, but I have found that what reduces much tension and misunderstanding is: setting expectations beforehand. I have made it clear to my family and friends in California under which circumstances I would fly back if we were in Italy. In my case, only a grave situation affecting an immediate family member will bring me back to California if we are in Italy during that time. Setting clear expectations before one moves to Italy will not avoid all family disagreements but will diminish the back and forth when circumstances arise. Setting clear boundaries and sticking to them is key. Insights: As I move forward in life, I realize that, in the end, what matters are relationships. Sometimes I cannot remember in which town or city I saw a particular church or work of art, but I do recall the human encounters. So cultivating my friendships while living in two countries is important to me. This "cultivation" involves forethought, time, and energy, but the payoff is worth it. Watch for my book coming around the 1st of the year: "Stories from Puglia: Two Californians in Southern Italy." (https://www.amazon.co.uk/Stories-Puglia-Californians-Southern-Italy/dp/1913680649/ref=sr_1_10?keywords=puglia&qid=1673203363&sr=8-10). More next time.

PART 27: It might be interesting to share how we pulled off living in Italy for part of the year. I will post some steps we took. We are in Puglia for three months during the summer and then back again in the winter. Step 1: The idea of living in Italy came to us about six years ago when my partner asked, out of the blue, "What do you think about us living in Europe once you retire?" This comment initiated research, exploratory trips, and choices. We finally stepped out to realize our dream, taking one step at a time. We are preparing for our 2nd three-month sojourn in Italy in a few weeks, following the 90 days in/90 out model. Step 2: I have documented some of our discoveries, choices, and insights in this Blog. I hope these posts are helpful for those on the same path and those who may think impossible what is, rather, very possible. Step 3: Readers Voice. This blog post is dedicated to readers' voice. I want to reach out to those reading this Blog and ask what topics readers are interested in exploring here. If I have experience in the area suggested, I am happy to share it. If I don't, then I won't fake it. Step 4: Ongoing. Our journey of living in Italy is ongoing, so we are learning along the way. We don't have all the answers, but we have experiences helping us embrace our life here. Step 5: So this space is for you. Please post a comment, send me a message, contact me through my Blog or however you want, and I will gather your suggestions and create future blog posts from them. Thank you. Let me hear from you! (If you would like to leave me a message without joining the blog, just go to the homepage on this site and press "contact". Thanks!) Watch for my book coming around the 1st of the year: "Stories from Puglia: Two Californians in Southern Italy." https://www.bookdepository.com/Stories-from-Puglia-Mark-Tedesco/9781913680640?ref=grid-view&qid=1673813710715&sr=1-1. More next time.

PART 28: It might be interesting to share how we pulled off living in Italy for part of the year. I will post some steps we took. We are in Puglia in the summer and then back again in the winter. Step 1: No frills airlines or full service? Driving or train? Renting a car or leasing or buying? Hotels, Airbnb, or others? Step 2: When we decided to live in Puglia, following the 90/90 rule (90 days out of 180, we were faced with multiple decisions on how to get to our place in Puglia, near the city of Lecce. The first decision was about what city to land in from California. Step 3: Arriving in Italy. Airline choices. I recently retired from teaching, so our budget for living in Italy and California must fit our middle-class income level. We have commuted to Italy so often that we have learned what to avoid and what works for us. When I was a student, and even later, my choices were guided by economics; whatever ticket was cheaper, I bought it. But the experience taught me that I paid for what I saved in money in other ways—time, hardships, challenges, etc. We now use different criteria, including convenience, to decide on a flight. No frills airlines. Until Covid, we took Norwegian air direct to Rome from California. Though it is a no-frills airline, its planes have the latest technology since they use the Dreamliner. A smoother ride and more oxygen pumped into the cabin made it pleasant. It was fee-for-service, so food was available, the stewards were lively and kind, and the experience was positive. But the airlines ceased operations in our area when Covid struck. Economy Lite is a category on regular flights that equals no frills, but in this flight category, we have found that one must research what is included and what is not. If I am paying extra to choose my seat, bring on a carry-on, get on board before others, etc., I should buy a regular ticket. Non-stop: I don't want to name the specific airlines, but we wanted to fly non-stop to Italy on this last trip, so we chose the airline that offers that flight from Los Angeles now. To make a long story short, it could have been a better experience. I could not make any seat reservations for months; having no call center in the US, I had to call long-distance to Italy to try to work it out. The system wouldn't accept my credit card when we finally got the seats. On the flight itself, the bathrooms were dirty halfway through the flight, the paper towel dispenser was empty, and the plane didn't look clean. Never again, we said. European vs. an American airlines: When I get on the plane in California, I want to get off again when I am in Europe. Flying to New York or another US city makes the trip feel longer to me. Plus, on more than one occasion, my flight to a US city was delayed, and I either missed my connecting flight or made it, but with significant stress. So now we only fly a European-based airline that will take us, for example, from Los Angeles to Zurich or Paris, and then, after a few hours, we are in Rome. However, the only downside of a European airline is that some of them arrive in Italy in the late afternoon or evening. But with planning, this is entirely doable. On our last trip, we landed in Rome in the early evening, picked up our car, and drove for a few hours until we reached an Airbnb in a beautiful town near the freeway. The next day, well rested, we continued our way to Puglia. Jet lag, sleeping, and pacing oneself: When I arrive in Italy, I am anxious to "get started." I want to get to our destination, put my things in order quickly, shower, and then get out to explore. But there have been times when we have pushed the limits of jet lag to risky levels. We drove for hours and hours to get to our destination in Lecce or Tuscany after we got out of the airport, barely able to keep our eyes open. After pushing these limits and trying to keep one another awake in the car while driving, we decided not to do that again. We now adopt the mindset that our vacation/sojourn begins when we step onto the plane, not when we arrive at our lodging. So we have stayed at the airport hotel in Rome a few times (it's not that expensive if it is booked way in advance) and in towns right outside the city. The point is: we have worked so hard to be able to do this, so let's take steps to keep it enjoyable. Conclusion: what works and what doesn't? What works for us includes: Flying on a European airline. Staying overnight near the airport if the flight arrives later. Experiencing the voyage as part of the adventure and pacing ourselves on our arrival makes for a positive entry into our months in Italy. Step 4: Driving or train? We live in Puglia (near Lecce), about six hours south of Rome, whether by train or car. We have investigated flying into Brindisi or Bari, but the flights are inconvenient. Once we arrive at one of those airports, we must figure out how to get from Bari or Brindisi to our home. Therefore, we now always fly into Rome. But how do we get down to Puglia once at the Rome airport? We have done it two ways: by car and train. Car: In another blog, I explored how we leased a car (Renault) rather than rented; this was cheaper over three months than renting. Car leasing in Italy is available from the Rome and Milan airports, so we have been flying into Rome, picking up our car, and then heading towards Puglia. If one has jet lag, I would stop and do an overnight along the way. If driving straight through, it takes us about six hours; it is a scenic drive and works out fine. I recommend this if you lease a car. Train: The train from Rome to Lecce takes about six hours. We have used this means in the past and will do so on our next trip since we will not be leasing a car this time but renting a second-hand car through a local agency near Lecce (Note: the importance of connecting with locals). There are a few challenges in taking the train from Rome that I want to note here. First challenge: getting from the airport to the train station. There is a very convenient direct train from the airport to the train station, which I highly recommend. It is easy to find, but I note it under challenges because there was a delay the last time we took it. There were also two trains on the tracks, and we kept getting contradictory information about which one went to the central station. Since I speak Italian, I could navigate the confusion, and we ultimately got on the correct train. But I wondered if someone who didn't know Italian would have been confused. There are other ways to get to the train station: bus, taxi, or private driver. For the bus: I am not fond of this because you can get stuck in traffic. Taxi: always make sure it is a marked taxi and that you pay only the amount advertised on the cab door. Private driver: never take a ride from someone who comes up to you at the airport. I did that the first time I went to Rome and regretted it. Use an agency or trusted referral (I have a trusted driver that I've used for some years now). Second challenge: getting the train. I use the app or website for Italian trains and have my ticket to Puglia from Rome purchased way in advance ( https://www.trenitalia.com ). So we must get to the train station, locate our train and track, and then hop on. Simple. It is well worth going first class, which is inexpensive if purchased in advance. Third challenge: arriving in Rome later in the evening. The next time we fly into Italy for three months, we are coming to Rome later in the evening, too late to catch the train to Lecce. Having lived in Rome, I'm not too fond of the area around the train station, and it is known to be a higher crime area. I never lodged in that area, but our choice was to either lodge nearby or lug our suitcases to a better part of Rome and then lug them back the next day for the train. Since safety in that area is an issue for me, the solution we came up with is lodging at a pensione run by a religious order of nuns! In a future blog, I will explain how we first came up with this lodging option, but to make a long story short, I did a search for monastery stays near the train station in Rome, found five or six, booked a beautiful one ten minutes from the train, and now we are set. Safety, affordability, and beauty, all in one! So taking the train from Rome to Puglia is entirely doable, but I like to have the logistics worked out beforehand. Step 5: Car: renting, leasing or buying? In another blog post, I have more fully explored the options of renting, leasing, or buying a car in Italy and the requirements, advantages, or disadvantages of each. A vehicle in Puglia is a necessity and a significant expense, so it should be researched thoroughly. Step 6: Hotel, Airbnb, or pensione? We rarely stay in hotels anymore, and Airbnb is always our first choice. We both like having a kitchen and a washing machine when traveling, so we don't have to run out whenever we get hungry or need to wash clothes. But sometimes a hotel is more convenient. On our next trip to Italy, we will fly back to California from Rome at 6 in the morning (we want to avoid rush hour when we arrive in LA), so reserving a room at the Rome airport hotel was logical. A pension usually includes a simple room and breakfast. As I said above, we will stay in one run by sisters in Rome, which will be perfect for our needs. But if I had to take a vote, my favorite is Airbnb. Insights: All of our travel needs are different, and we all learn by trial and error what works for us. Streamlining our flight experience, being gentle with ourselves on arrival because of jet lag, and finding lodging that fits us is all part of keeping travel enjoyable. Watch for my book coming around the 1st of the year: "Stories from Puglia: Two Californians in Southern Italy." (https://www.bookdepository.com/Stories-from-Puglia-Mark-Tedesco/9781913680640?ref=grid-view&qid=1674418749349&sr=1-1). More next time.

Our Italian Adventure: Moving to Italy while in a relationship PART 29: It might be interesting to share how we pulled off living in Italy for part of the year. I will post some steps we took. We are in Puglia in the summer and then back again in the winter. Step 1: When single, the decision to move to Italy can be simple: I have to put the logistics in place and then take the leap. But what about relationships? What if my partner has different ideas about whether to move to Italy? Or how long to stay there, or even what to do while there? Step 2: I don't claim to have all the answers about getting both partners on the same page regarding moving to Italy, but I will share some of our experiences. Step 3: Where to live. My partner was the first to propose residing in Europe. One day, he just asked, "What do you think if we lived in Europe after your retirement?" We could not have imagined that we would be living in Italy six years after asking that question. I am an Italianphile, having already lived in Italy for eight years, and I have experience in the culture and language. My partner is an Anglophile and is fascinated by all things British. Living in the UK would have been his first choice. To begin our decision-making process, we had first to let go of any emotion and defensiveness and look at the facts. So we researched both countries, England and Italy, as well as Spain, Slovenia, and France. We looked at factors such as culture, language, visas, citizenship, residency, and health systems. We also looked at the community and the possibilities of connecting with locals. My partner's initial proposal was to live in a different country each time we stayed in Europe, but that would not work for me. I didn't want to live like a nomad. That was one of my non-negotiables. The second step was to find the most compatible country. Further research and travel made it clear that Italy was the logical choice. We already had friends there; I knew the language, the health system was highly rated, and it could fit within our budget. We made this decision using facts gleaned from research rather than from emotion, which helped us reach a conclusion that worked for us. Step 4: How long. If it were up to me, I would move to Italy full-time or at least most of the year but, for several reasons, that doesn't work for my partner. So we needed to figure out how living in Italy could work for both of us. More research. We considered living in Italy for six months in one block while living in California for the other six. But after further research and weighing our obligations in California, we decided to live in Italy for 90 days at a time, following the 90/180 model explained elsewhere in this Blog. For us, the 90/180 model is a great compromise and works well. We get to live a big part of the year in Italy while using our time in California to take care of commitments, reflect on our experiences, and turn them into stories. Step 5: Travel bug. Though my partner and I have the travel bug, mine is slightly different. Exploring without an itinerary is an adventure that appeals to me but can be hard on one's traveling companion. So we developed a compromise to feed the travel bug. I travel spontaneously in Italy for some days each year, usually visiting friends or going off the tourist maps. Then we also plan travel adventures together when we are in Puglia. Insights: Meeting halfway. Everyone in a long-term relationship knows that meeting halfway, compromising, being aware of the needs of the other, and letting the other person be themselves are components of a successful relationship. Moving to Italy can put all these factors into play. One person in a relationship may be more passionate about living in Italy than the other, but we have found that it doesn’t have to be “all or nothing”. Finding a compromise that works for both can be challenging but rewarding at the same time. Living in Italy is helping us grow as individuals and as a couple, as we both seek to put the other person's needs front and center while not losing sight of our own. Watch for my book coming around the middle of March, 2023: "Stories from Puglia: Two Californians in Southern Italy." https://www.bookdepository.com/Stories-from-Puglia-Mark-Tedesco/9781913680640?ref=grid-view&qid=1666212800375&sr=1-2 . More next time.

How we moved to Italy. Can middle-class guys like us live in Italy? PART 30: It might be interesting to share how we pulled off living in Italy for part of the year. I will post some steps we took. We live in Puglia in the Summer and Fall and then back again in the winter. Step 1: My first reaction to my partner's proposal to live in Italy was that we couldn't afford it. Because of work and other obligations, we would need to live in California for half the year and Italy for the other half. But we are middle-class guys with student loans, a mortgage, and more expenses than I want to list. So it would be impossible to live in Italy full-time or part-time. Or would it be? Step 2: I was intrigued by a life in Italy since I had already lived there for eight years in college. But we are not rich; I'm just a high school teacher. How could we pull it off? We then took some steps to see if it was possible. Step 3: Budgeting. First, I made a spreadsheet. Little by little, I kept an eye on my expenses and tracked them on the spreadsheet. This effort took me a few months, but it was also enlightening. I had no idea, for example, that I was spending so much on Amazon! Step 4: Calculating expenses in the US. Second, I looked at my spending to see if I could lower my bills. Some of the ways we came up with included: setting a target to get our cars paid off, setting monthly Amazon spending limits, and using my credit card only for necessities. Step 5: Calculating expenses in Italy. We realized that we had to carefully calculate expenses in Italy to see if we could pull this off. We discovered that the cost of living in big Italian cities is much higher than in smaller towns. For example, rent for a one-bedroom apartment in the center of Rome is comparable to what I paid in Los Angeles. In comparison, a friend, who lived about a half hour outside of Rome in Sermoneta, rented a beautiful place for 450 euros a month. We looked in different areas of Italy and decided on Puglia, primarily because of friendship (see previous blog post). We found that the cost of living, including rent or purchasing housing, is much lower in Puglia than in other areas. But even in Puglia, the cost of housing can vary greatly, depending on whether one lives in a city like Lecce, an ex-pat magnet like Alberobello, or a small town off the tourist radar like Galatone. Step 6: Homework. We did our homework and spoke to our local friends who live in Puglia to figure out what to budget for rent. Then we had to figure out what to do about a car (see blog post on the Car Conundrum), and we also had to calculate our twice-yearly flights from California to Italy. For the daily expenses (energy, gas, food, etc.), we decided to roll the dice and calculate these expenses after being in Italy for our first three months. Insights: What are our conclusions? We found that living in California and Italy is within our middle-class budget if we make wise choices on both sides of the Atlantic. Keep our expenses in California within our monthly budget; in Italy, we live in an area that we can afford but still has everything this beautiful country has to offer. Puglia is the perfect solution for us. Living in Italy and California isn't just for the wealthy. It is possible for us "middle classers" if we want it enough. Watch for my book coming around March 15: "Stories from Puglia: Two Californians in Southern Italy." https://www.bookdepository.com/Stories-from-Puglia-Mark-Tedesco/9781913680640?ref=grid-view&qid=1666212800375&sr=1-2 . More next time.

How we moved to Italy. Diversity in Puglia: Does it matter if I am gay or straight? PART 31: It might be interesting to share how we pulled off living in Italy for part of the year. I will post some steps we took. We are in Puglia for the summer and winter months. Step 1: Diversity is a broad topic; I will limit myself to our experience. We are a gay couple, and before moving to Puglia, we had to consider the implications. What is the mentality in our area? Is it open-minded, or would we be shunned because of who we are? Step 2: Reading. I remember that many mainstream guidebooks to Italy used to warn travelers that the further one goes south, the less tolerance one would find. One book, which I will not name, even stated that in Sicily, it was typical for hotels and pensions to insist that two men take two rooms or at least sleep in two beds. I don't know where these mainstream books got their information, but we have found the opposite true. Step 3: North and South. According to our Italian friends, parts of northern Italy tend to be more conservative than the south. I remember conversing with a local friend about this point, which I found perplexing. "But the north is closer to other countries, so they should be more open-minded because of being in contact with other cultures!" I insisted. My Italian friend responded, "No, it is not like that. It would be best to remember how many cultures, including Greek, dominated the south. They each left their mark, leading to a broader outlook you can see today." Step 4: Local culture. To reassure us that we would not have any problems in Puglia, our local friends told us that both their police chief and their mayor were openly gay, and it was not a big deal to anyone. They also introduced us to their many local gay friends living in Puglia. Step 5: Our experience. "Where are all these gay people coming from?" I asked one day in the supermarket in Galatone. My partner laughed. It was true; our town is not a tourist destination; in fact, it is more working class. But we have a great supermarket, and the gays are everywhere! Our experience in Puglia as a gay couple has been twofold: First, being gay or straight here is a complete non-issue. Nobody seems to care either way. It's like having brown or green eyes or walking down the street with a green rather than a blue shirt. Nobody notices or cares. The second aspect of our experience is that we have met many other gay couples (and singles, too) who have strong bonds of friendship, support one another, are interested in each other's lives, and understand what we all go through. About a dozen of us men went to a town festival this past summer; we were enjoying each other's company, looking at the festival street lights, eating local foods, and laughing together. At a certain point, a man approached us and asked, "who are you?" He asked in a kind and curious way, as if he thought we were some community that did things together. "We are friends," one of our Italian friends answered. "Beautiful companionship (bella compagnia)" he said, then left. Total acceptance and even embrace have been our experiences. Insights: Relationships are transformational, and in Puglia, we get to live the fruit of many people sharing their lives, points of view, and different ways of living with one another. Not only is being gay a non-issue, but it is also certainly just one more aspect that has enabled us to feel at home with family. For this, we are grateful. Watch for my book coming around the 1st of the year: "Stories from Puglia: Two Californians in Southern Italy." https://www.bookdepository.com/Stories-from-Puglia-Mark-Tedesco/9781913680640?ref=grid-view&qid=1666212800375&sr=1-2. More next time.

PART 32: It might be interesting to share how we pulled off living in Italy for part of the year. I will post some steps we took. We are in Puglia for the summer and part of the winter. Step 1: We are relatively athletic and health-conscious. We both go to the gym daily, do weights and cardio, and try to eat clean. In California I go bike riding every evening. I I strive to cultivate good eating habits, consuming protein, fresh fruit, and vegetables daily. (My weakness is cookies, so I try to keep them out of the house!) Step 2: Gym. When we moved to Puglia, one of the first things we did was to search for a gym; we found one just a few blocks from our house. When I lived in Italy in the 1980s, gyms were more rare, but now the gym mentality has permeated the country. There are some differences, however. I don't want to universalize here since our particular fitness experience in our town in Puglia will be different than it would be if we lived in another Italian area, village, or city. But sharing one's particular experience can sometimes be helpful, entertaining, or both. So here goes: a) Hours: The first thing we found was that some gyms in our area are closed in the afternoons for riposo ; this took some adjustment since, in California, we often get to the gym during odd hours. b) Cultural differences/Sundays. Sunday is a day that I like to focus on my workout; I don't have to think about work or errands, so I can focus on lifting. I love lifting on Sundays, so I was surprised to learn that our gym was closed. Please don't get me wrong: I don't have any objections to a business being closed on Sundays, but it just takes some adjustment on our part. c) Crowds: I know when to avoid the gym in California because I know when it will be packed. In Puglia, I am still confused. "It's 4:30 in the afternoon, and everyone is at work! So why is our gym so crowded?" I whined to my partner, who shrugged. On another day, "It is 9:30 in the morning, and it is full; I thought everyone was at work?" I am still trying to discern the patterns; when our gym in California is usually empty, the one in Puglia seems full, and vice versa. Solution? Go with the flow. d) Exercise chart: We noticed that most of the locals at our gym have a chart they use to check off the exercises as they go through them. These charts are individual fitness plans drawn up at the gym (which I have seen in several gyms in our area). I've noticed that some gym goers stand with the chart in hand and wait for a station to be free rather than going to another. These charts are excellent guides for beginners, but sometimes someone has been standing behind me, waiting for my station, without my noticing. Following these charts is important for many gym goers, and I am learning to become more aware of that. e) Chatting and friendliness: In California, I am used to focusing on my workout without being unfriendly. I don't talk or engage; I want to lift weights, burn calories, and then get on with my day. So when we started going to the gym in Puglia, I had a detached demeanor. My partner is the same but perhaps not as "stern" at the gym as I am, so he began meeting people there. After a few weeks, I softened up, and soon we had a group of gym buddies. We chat a bit while getting our workout done. I've found that locals are friendly and curious, especially about California. The result of all of this is that, now, there is a friendly atmosphere without taking away from lifting. f) Picking up after: At my gym in California, many do not put their weights away after using them. I don't mind since I am used to it. But in our and other Puglia gyms, everyone carefully racks their weights before moving on. I am grateful for this good habit. g) Kilograms and pounds: Getting used to kilograms is vital to know if I am lifting a 45-pound weight or 60. I usually go by feel and a general conversion rate idea. But I need to get more precise in this area. h) Traveling: Traveling and going to the gym can be challenging. Last summer, I was stressed by trying to find a local gym while visiting Rome or another area. Since keeping fit is not supposed to be stressful, I decided to give myself a workout break when I am away from home base. Step 3: Diet. In another blog, I wrote about diet and eating in Italy. In this post, I will repeat that it is possible to eat very well in Italy and consume fresh produce daily. It is also possible to constantly eat carbs because grabbing a pizza and making pasta are fast solutions but, after a while, don't add up to healthy eating. We have started preparing food at home in Puglia more often than going out, which helps us eat a more balanced diet that includes protein, fresh fruit, and vegetables. Step 4: Bike riding. I love to ride my bike, and I go riding every evening in California. There are areas in Puglia that have great bike paths; Lecce, for example, has one that goes for miles. Our town has cobblestones and busy streets, but my local friends tell me there are great bike riding areas. I am just hesitant to ride on a busy street to get there. Still in my learning curve here. Step 5: Walking. Every time we go to Italy, I lose weight, even when I overeat! The only explanation is walking. We walk much more than when we are in California. Walking can be a great exercise if done consistently. Consistency is key. So I started to take a walk every evening before dinner when we are in Puglia and a twice weekly hike in the hills above Santa Caterina. Insights: Keeping fit while in Puglia is possible and even easy, but we must make choices to make it happen. Planning schedules around gym hours, organizing one's diet, integrating walking, and continuing other activities like hiking are all components of keeping fit in this beautiful area. Puglia is a great region, and, step by step, we are adapting, learning and thriving. And we are grateful. Watch for my book coming out in March 2023: "Stories from Puglia: Two Californians in Southern Italy." https://docs.google.com/document/d/170Sga1oWq8JigOcWaf2mA3BdHn5iS0SLkC7sWyzbhgM/edit . More next time.

PART 33: It might be interesting to share how we pulled off living in Italy for part of the year. I will post some steps we took. We are in Puglia in the summer and then back again in the winter. Step 1: After I was asked to review the book "Monastery Stays in Italy" last year, I was intrigued by the variety and number of these types of lodgings available. But once I read the book and published the review, I promptly forgot about it. Step 2: Though we live in Puglia when we are in Italy, I/we also travel throughout Italy and beyond, using our place as a base. I decided to visit some Italian cities last Fall, but I waited until the last minute to look for lodging—a big mistake. Step 3: Problem: Last year, I was in Rome and ended up at the AirBnB from hell. I had booked the place for a week, but there was no way that I could stay another night. The apartment was so bad that I called AirBnB headquarters and told them they had to get me out of there! I won't go into details here, but it was terrible. Step 4: Quandary. Airbnb gave the owner a list of things to fix, but he didn't follow through; they offered to transfer me to another lodging if I could find one, but Rome was fully booked (September is a busy month). It felt like I was stuck in purgatory or hell! Then something happened. Step 5: Revelation. I called my partner to complain about my situation; I told him there was no way out. I could not afford a $450 hotel room, the only lodgings available. "Remember that book you read about monastery stays?" he asked. "Why don't you see if you can find a place at one of those?" That possibility hadn't even occurred to me. Step 6: Solution. I Googled "Monastery stays Rome" and immediately found the website affiliated with the book. Since my preferred area to lodge in Rome is Piazza Navona/Campo dei Fiori, I focused my search there. I soon found three convent-run "pensioni" in that area. I was determined to leave my AirBnB that day, so I had to work fast. Step 7: Footwork and discovery. I emailed all of the convent lodgings in my area. The first, the Brigittine nuns in Piazza Farnese, were already booked but would be happy to host me in the future. My heart sank. There was another lodging just off Piazza Navona, but they waited to respond to my email. So I put the address in my Google maps and walked over. A kind man greeted me at the desk; I told him my story, hoping to convince him to rescue me from my apartment. He didn't need to hear the story. "Sure, we have a room for you." When he told me the price, it was so low that I asked him twice. Step 8: No frills. The location was perfect, the room was small and simple but immaculately clean, and breakfast was included. Though the doors shut at 11, I was given a key to come and go any time. Step 9: Diverse lodgings. Besides this experience in Rome, we have since experienced other monastery stays and found that they are always spotless and can vary in price and amenities. For example, we also stayed at a monastery-run lodging in the center of Salzburg, which was equal to a 4-5 star hotel, with a generous breakfast that carried us through most of the day. We could have found an airBnB for a bit cheaper, but it was an incredible experience that added to the richness of our trip. We learned that not all monastery stays are the lowest cost lodging; sometimes, an Airbnb is cheaper. But a monastery stay gives one a unique experience. Step 10: Religiosity. My experience of these lodgings is that everyone is welcome, whether religious or none. It is the hospitality that matters. Insights: Learning to think outside the box while living in Italy is a journey. Whether it is transportation, shopping, or lodging, new ways of doing things enrich our lives and expand our horizons. Watch for my book coming out in March 2023: "Stories from Puglia: Two Californians in Southern Italy." https://www.bookdepository.com/Stories-from-Puglia-Mark-Tedesco/9781913680640?ref=grid-view&qid=1666212800375&sr=1-2 . More next time.

PART 34: It might be interesting to share how we pulled off living in Italy for part of the year. I will post some steps we took. We are in Puglia for three months during the summer and then back again in the winter. Step 1: Several readers have contacted me about transporting pets into Italy/the EU. I promised that I would not write about things that we have no experience with, and this is one of them. Though we both love dogs, we decided not to get one because of living part-time in Italy and part in California. Step 2: My 25 years as an educator taught me that experience is the best teacher. Therefore, I want to use this blog space this week to share what readers have learned about transporting pets. Step 3: Readers Voice. This blog post is dedicated to readers' voices on transporting your pet into or out of Italy or the EU. Step 4: So this space is for you. Please post a comment, send me a message, contact me through my blog, or however you want, and I will gather your experiences and create future blog posts from them. We can learn from each other. Thank you. Let me hear from you! Watch for my book coming out at the end of March 2023: "Stories from Puglia: Two Californians in Southern Italy." https://www.bookdepository.com/Stories-from-Puglia-Mark-Tedesco/9781913680640 . More next time.

Our Italian Adventure: Transporting Pets: Information and Experiences PART 35: It might be interesting to share how we pulled off living in Italy for part of the year. I will post some steps we took. We live in Puglia in the Summer and then back again in the winter. In last week's Blog, I asked readers to share their experiences transporting their pets to Italy/EU. I want to share these here and provide links to some clear information on how pet transport works. Step 1: Transporting pets is a hot topic for animal lovers. I wanted to share some useful official information and readers' experiences transporting their pets to the EU/Italy/Puglia. Step 2: Government information: US Embassy in Italy: Dogs and cats must have: a veterinary certificate, rabies vaccine, microchip, labeled cage, and EU passport once in Europe. https://it.usembassy.gov/embassy-consulates/rome/sections-offices/foreign-agricultural-service/pet-travel-faqs-italy-u-s/ . The Italian health ministry requires a microchip, valid rabies vaccine, and more: https://www.salute.gov.it/portale/caniGatti/dettaglioContenutiCaniGatti.jsp?lingua=italiano&id=4590&area=cani&menu=vuoto . US Department of State: 3 ways to ship your pet: with you, on a separate flight, or through a commercial pet shipper. Microchip and certification requirements. https://www.state.gov/pets-and-international-travel/ . European Commission: microchip, rabies vaccination, rabies test, treatment for Echinococcus multilocularis, and health certificate. https://food.ec.europa.eu/animals/movement-pets/eu-legislation/entry-union_en . Step 3: Airlines information: American: You can only travel with a checked pet (no carry-on) for transatlantic flights: https://www.aa.com/i18n/travel-info/special-assistance/pets.jsp . American uses "PetEmbark" and is said to be one of the most pet-friendly airlines. Delta: Temporary embargo on all pet shipments. https://www.delta.com/us/en/pet-travel/international-connection-pet-travel . Jet Blue: Jet Paws program provides a carrier bag and tips. Pet-friendly airline. https://www.jetblue.com/traveling-together/traveling-with-pets . Air Canada is another very pet-friendly airline that accepts pets in the cabin and in the baggage compartment. https://www.aircanada.com/ca/en/aco/home/plan/special-assistance/pets.html#/ . Many other airlines offer pet services. (I have recently been told that Lufthansa is one of the best.) Please check your airlines. Step 4: Bringing your pet by ship: Only one cruise line, the Cunard Queen Mary 2, carries pets across the Atlantic, and there are only 24 kennels, so reservations must be made a year in advance. The cost is currently $1,000-$1,600 per pet. Pets are not allowed in cabins but are confined to the kennel area. Playtimes and feedings are well organized, and owners can visit their pets during specific times. https://www.cruisecritic.co.uk/articles.cfm?ID=3439 . Step 5: Tips: Dogs cannot fly in the cabin when entering the UK and Iceland, regardless of the airline you're flying. Double check size and weight restrictions as they differ slightly between pet-friendly airlines. Pets are often not allowed to travel in business class due to the design of the seats. Do not travel with your pet in cargo during extreme weather months (too hot or too cold). Step 6: Readers' experiences: I moved from San Francisco to Rome and now Bergamo with my Australian shepherd. He flew cargo with Lufthansa in April 2019, and the flight was great. Lufthansa has a dog lounge at the Frankfurt airport, so my dog got a pee break there. I made sure not to travel during the hot months. Positive experience overall, but I don't take him when I visit….I have an awesome dog sitter for those times -T I used to be a flight attendant, and depending on the airlines, having a pet onboard should not cost that much as long as they are small and can fit in a carrier under your seat the entire flight. Domestically it would cost approx $100 again, depending on the airline. Larger dogs go as luggage in haul in a carrier. I personally would not put my dog through that stress and noise unless that's your only option. You could always take your larger dog on a ship (cruise ) might be more humane -R We've just started this process! We are relocating to Italy from the UAE with our two dogs at the end of July. As our dogs are small enough, they can travel with us in-cabin for €200 each. We did need to call the airline before we booked to make sure they could accommodate our two since there is a limit to how many pets can be on board each flight. We've hired a professional pet relocation service to handle all import/export paperwork and ensure smooth sailing. -K I transport my dog from the USA to Italy twice a year with zero trouble. It's necessary to complete forms, get the international tracker, etc., but the actual act of flying over was no trouble. She flies in the cabin in a comfortable crate and sleeps the entire 9 hours. It's been a blessing to have her here, as we didn't want to leave her for months on end. She loves to explore, and go to the beach, the grocery, and the restaurants. -S Insights: Carrying one's beloved pet to Italy or another EU country is a big decision. What is the safest way to transport my pet? How can I diminish the stress of travel on my pet? What is the cost? What are the risks? What is the trade-off? I hope this information and experiences enrich your decision-making process. Watch for my book coming out soon: "Stories from Puglia: Two Californians in Southern Italy." https://www.bookdepository.com/Stories-from-Puglia-Mark-Tedesco/9781913680640?ref=grid-view&qid=1666212800375&sr=1-2 . More next time.